Chapter 67: After Separating, I Realized That The One I Truly Love Had Always Been You
After spending two days at sister Su’s house and accompanying mother Su and uncle Li, Su Jian and An Yize went home.
Although Su Jian was irritated to the point of vomiting blood because he and An Yize had done it, he was helpless to change the past. If it was An Yize who had inappropriate intentions, he could still reason his way out. However, even though he knew that An Yize had feelings for him, he still entangled with and pressed down this man. Even if he was drunk, Su Jian was speechless. He could only keep his helplessness to himself, feeling more and more depressed.
Fortunately, other than the fact that the other party was An Yize, which made him collapse a little inside, he didn’t mind what happened that much. When he was still a man, he had waited for this event for a long time. Although the way it came through was a little strange, it still happened. However, Su Jian couldn’t remember anything about the process due to being drunk, making him feel regretful.
When Su Jian got off work today, he arrived at a bookstore.
He had originally intended to buy some supplementary materials to enhance his teaching skills. However, after looking around the bookstore, he realized he was still interested in “Story Telling Session” magazine just like the past, which was placed in the magazine section. Although the premise of “Story Telling Session” was common, he always felt that it was just like instant noodles, a food for the masses. It could be called the national magazine.
He was flipping through the magazine when a voice suddenly sounded by his side. “Jian Jian?”
Su Jian looked up, only to see Lu Chenghe smiling at him. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”
I actually met the ex-boyfriend! It’s a small world! Although Su Jian was cursing in his heart, he was very polite on the surface. “Mr. Lu, are you here to buy books as well?”
Hearing the two words “Mr. Lu”, Lu Chenghe’s face stiffened before a wry smile appeared, “Jian Jian, I’ve never expected that you would one day call me Mr. Lu.”
Su Jian smiled tightly and didn’t reply.
Lu Chenghe said, “Jian Jian, we haven’t seen each other for so long. Why don’t we find a place to sit down and chat?”
Su Jian thought: This may be good. I can take this chance to clarify some things. He nodded his head and said, “Okay.”
The two of them arrived at a cafe nearby. To avoid being awkward, Su Jian brought up a topic: “You went to the bookstore to buy a book didn’t you? What did you want to buy?”
Lu Chenghe: “I wanted to buy “Critique of Pure Reason” by Kant but it wasn’t there.”
Su Jian: “……” I can’t use this topic anymore.
Lu Chenghe stared at Su Jian and suddenly said, “Jian Jian, long time no see.” His tone sounded sad and nostalgic, and there was a very clear gentleness.
We just met on that rainy day which wasn’t that long ago! Su Jian cursed silently in his heart but smiled very gently on the surface. He felt that since the person before him was sister Su’s ex-boyfriend, he must be very familiar and close to sister Su. He should probably try his best to act like sister Su to avoid unnecessary trouble.
Lu Chenghe looked at him with very serious eyes, his voice low and gentle like a sigh, “You’re still the same as before.”
Then I’m relieved! Su Jian relaxed slightly.
Lu Chenghe’s line of sight landed on his long hair. “I thought that you would cut your hair.”
Su Jian was stunned, “Why would I need to cut my hair?”
Lu Chenghe’s voice was low and warm. “Because you kept your hair long for me. You said that as long as I liked long hair, you would always keep them for me.”
Su Jian subconsciously touched the ends of his hair, suddenly feeling tired of the smooth hair he had always quite liked.
“Actually,” Lu Chenghe looked at him and sighed softly, “What does it matter if one cuts their hair? The human heart is not like hair, how could it be cut off.”
Su Jian said, “I’m very sorry. I had a car accident. I don’t remember anything from my past.”
“Were you injured anywhere?” Lu Chenghe asked with concern.
Su Jian replied, “My legs were broken, but they have recovered. Mr. Lu, you don’t have to be worried.”
Lu Chenghe was slightly dejected. “Jian Jian, I’m sorry. Even though you met such a serious accident, I wasn’t able to stay by your side.”
Su Jian was feeling awkward in his heart, but the corner of his lips lightly formed a smile. “It’s okay.” After hesitating for a moment, he still asked in the end, “By the way, what was our… relationship in the past?”
Lu Chenghe stared at him and said, “In the past, we were deeply in love. But afterwards…”
“We broke up?” Su Jian continued.
Lu Chenghe didn’t try to hide. “Yes. We broke up afterwards. However…” He suddenly stretched his hand over and held Su Jian’s hand which was on the table.
“Jian Jian, if I said that I still love you and have never forgotten about you, would you believe me?”
Su Jian thought: I must be lucky with love recently. Otherwise, why would there be people confessing to him one after another?
However, why was it all the males confessing!
Su Jian retracted his hands and laughed wryly, “Mr. Lu, you must be joking…”
“I’m not joking.” Lu Chenghe stared at him, his eyes gentle and serious. “Jian Jian, what I said is true.”
The man in front of Su Jian looked beautiful and elegant. His voice was attractive and gentle, and his eyes were full of emotions. If Su Jian really was sister Su, he might not have been able to hold back. Su Jian really couldn’t reconcile the person before him with Yan Ziwei’s description of ‘A bastard who cheated on you.’ He pasted on a smile awkwardly and asked, “Then why did we break up previously?”
Lu Chenghe stiffened before he said dejectedly, “Actually, everything is my fault. At that time, there was a girl who had tried to commit suicide because she wanted to be with me, so I became afraid. At that time, I thought that you had always been strong. Even if I was gone, you would still live well. However, it wasn’t the same for her. For my sake, she had almost ended her life. She said that she couldn’t live on without me.”
Su Jian widened his eyes. You can even do that? If you knew this was going to happen, why did you still flirt with another girl in the first place? If you wanted to escape, you should have just threatened her with your life. The more Su Jian thought about it, the more he couldn’t understand. Suddenly, a mysterious thought came to his mind: If he had to choose between a beauty and An Yize one day and An Yize threatened suicide as well, would he choose An Yize?
According to Su Jian’s brain’s habits from the past, the mental image that popped up should have been An Yize hugging his thigh tightly, crying out loud, “Jian Jian, if you abandon me, I will go and die!”. However, he didn’t know why but what appeared in his mind was actually An Yize’s expression at mount Hua after he said “I don’t like you” to An Yize. No, it should be the improved version of that time—An Yize laid silently on a hospital bed, his breath weak. Even his eyes looking at Su Jian was quiet. However, the silence heavy with sadness: “Jian Jian, please stay?”
Su Jian was suddenly a little moved. If he really had to choose, it was still a life. He’s so kind, so he might just…
Lu Chenghe voice brought him back to his senses. He heard Lu Chenghe said with a wry smile: “However, after separating, I realized that the one I truly love has always been you.
The emotion in Lu Chenghe’s eyes was so thick it was almost solid that even Su Jian couldn’t help but be stunned. If there was background music for this picturesque scene, that music would most likely be a piano piece about an inseparable love. However, what was playing in Su Jian’s mind was: “It was you who wanted to break up back then. Since we have broken up, then we have broken up. Now you want to use your true love to coax me back again…”
Su Jian replied awkwardly, “I’m sorry Mr. Lu, I’m already married.”
Lu Chenghe was startled before he stiffened, his face turning slightly pale. After a long moment of silence, he asked softly, “Jian Jian, do you love him?”
“Of course!” Su Jian smiled gently and said, “He is tall and strong, his family is wealthy and he is loyal to me. Other than giving birth to a child, he seems capable of doing anything. Why wouldn’t I like him?”
Lu Chenghe was dejected. He said with a forced smile, “Really?”
Su Jian nodded his head. Seeing that Lu Chenghe’s face was full of sadness, he advised, “Mr. Lu, didn’t you say that a girl tried to commit suicide for you? She must love you very much, shouldn’t she? I think you should cherish her.”
Lu Chenghe looked at him perplexedly, “Jian Jian, you are slightly different from before.”
Su Jian replied, “This is normal. After all, I have lost my memories. Additionally, people would always change.”
Lu Chenghe stared at him silently, “But Jian Jian, I didn’t change.”
Su Jian: “……” Why are all of these men so good at saying romantic words! I’m indeed lacking practice!
Su Jian sighed softly: “I’m very sorry. Although the recipe and taste are still the same, you are no longer my cup of tea.”
Lu Chenghe: “……”
After saying goodbye to Lu Chenghe and returning home, Su Jian was still feeling awkward.
Compared to being confessed to by an unfamiliar ex-boyfriend, Su Jian suddenly felt that being confessed to by An Yize who slept with him every day was no longer so difficult to accept.
After finishing dinner, Su Jian laid on the sofa in the room alone and played with his phone, suddenly feeling very bored. In the past, even though he and An Yize stayed in the same room, they were both doing their own things most of the time and didn’t speak often. Yet now, he didn’t know why he felt that it was still better if there was someone else in the room even if they didn’t speak.
Thinking for a moment, Su Jian got off the sofa and went to the study room that An Yize slept in.
Knocking the door twice, Su Jian gently pushed the door open when he heard An Yize’s “please enter” from the inside. What welcomed him was An Yize looking at him with slight astonishment. He said calmly, “I’m here to look for a book.”
An Yize stood up. “Which book would you like to read?”
Su Jian recalled the incredible book Lu Chenghe mentioned earlier and said, “Critique of Pure Reason”.
An Yize said, “Wait for a moment.” After saying so, he started searching the bookshelf for the book.
He actually had it! Su Jian felt slightly depressed. Seeing An Yize passing the book over, he could only stretch his hand over to receive the book.
Su Jian looked at the small sofa in the study room. Then, he thought of An Yize’s height and suddenly said, “Why don’t I sleep in the study room?” Seeing An Yize look over, he continued, “I’m afraid you can’t even stretch out your legs when you lie on that sofa.”
An Yize said, “It’s okay.”
Su Jian replied, “I’m shorter than you anyways. Why don’t you let me…”
“No need.” An Yize shook his head.
Su Jian was stunned speechless for a moment. When An Yize continued to stare at him deeply, he felt a little awkward. He spotted the laptop placed on the sofa by An Yize and tried to change the topic, “What are you doing on your computer?”
An Yize replied, “Watching a movie.”
“Oh” Su Jian continued dryly, “Is it nice?”
An Yize looked at him and suddenly said, “Let’s watch it together.”
Su Jian didn’t bother being polite and sat his butt down on the sofa.
An Yize sat beside him and placed the laptop on the small table in front of the sofa.
Su Jian had thought that An Yize would be watching a foreign art film. Unexpectedly, when the screen was turned over, what showed up was actually an anime, and it was one that he had watched before!
Su Jian asked in surprise, “You watch this too?”
An Yize slowly said, “You recommended this to me before.”
Su Jian stared blankly. He didn’t expect to receive such a reply. He did recommend this to An Yize before when he was watching anime, but he didn’t expect that An Yize would actually remember the name and even watch it! Su Jian had always thought that An Yize’s image could not be linked with anime.
An unknown warmth suddenly spread in Su Jian’s heart.
Because he had watched it before, Su Jian couldn’t help but start commenting. Sitting cross-legged and facing the screen, he felt excited that someone else was watching something he liked.
“Isn’t that weapon cool?”
“High energy ahead!”
“I like her the most!”
An Yize looked at him. Su Jian felt embarrassed and said, “Ugh, I like this anime too much…”
“That’s why I wanted to take a look too.” An Yize’s voice was low and gentle.
Because they were using the laptop to watch something, the lights in the study room seemed to be darker. The two of them sat on the small sofa and weren’t speaking at the moment. However, Su Jian felt that the room seemed to have a strange sense of warmth and calmness.
The lights from the animation gently jumped about on their faces. An Yize turned around to see Su Jian sleeping peacefully while leaning on him, and a trace of a smile forming in his eyes.
After carrying Su Jian back to the bed and carefully covering him with the blanket, An Yize sat by the side of the bed and stared quietly at the quiet and obedient sleeping face for a while. Then, he slowly lowered his head and gently kissed the space between Su Jian’s eyebrows.
“Goodnight Jian Jian.”