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Side Story 6: Luo Yuchen’s Diary (VI)


TL: Resonance

  四月二十六日

26th April

  今天白天没有工作,又看了肖恒一天。

I didn’t have work in the day, so I came to see Xiao Heng again.

  方写忆数次叫我滚。

Fang Xieyi has asked me to scram many times.

  我说我想肖恒睁开眼睛的时候我能在他身边。

I say I wished to be by Xiao Heng’s side when he opens his eyes.

  方写忆曲解我,他说别以为肖恒那样就会被你感动就能原谅你。

Fang Xieyi has misunderstood me. He said, “Don’t think that Xiao Heng will be moved by you and forgive you this way.”

  我没有那样以为。

I didn’t think this way.

  四月三十日

30th April

  工作一整天之后来到医院,方写忆竟然只准我见肖恒十五分钟。

I finally got to the hospital after working for the whole day, yet Fang Xieyi only allowed me to see Xiao Heng for 15 minutes.

  他说,我是他哥哥,你算什么?

He said, “I’m his brother. Who are you?”

  是啊,我算什么。

That’s right. Who am I?

  五月二日

2nd May

  方写忆竟然霸道地不准我看肖恒!

Fang Xieyi doesn’t allow me to see Xiao Heng!

  他说肖恒就是因为我天天在旁边,才不愿意醒。

He said that Xiao Heng wasn’t willing to wake up because I’m always by his side. 

  我不管他胡说八道,这根本是欺人太甚。

I don’t care about his nonsense, he is clearly being too much.

  后来我们出去好好打了一架。

Afterwards, we went out to have a fight.

  方写忆公子哥出身应该娇生惯养的,没想到下手那么重!

Fang Xieyi is born a young master and should have grown up spoiled and weak, who would have expected that he is so strong!

  虽然没打赢,但是好歹争回了每天能探望肖恒的权利。

Although I didn’t win the fight, I’ve at least earned back the right to visit Xiao Heng every day.

  五月四日

4th May

  昨天夜里方写忆突然打电话来说肖恒醒了。

Last night, Fang Xieyi called and told me that Xiao Heng had woken up.

  我接了电话不敢相信,我想方写忆是不是骗我玩的。

I didn’t dare to believe it. I was wondering if Fang Xieyi was trying to play a trick on me.

  肖恒真的醒了。

Xiao Heng was really awake.

  看到他坐在那里的时候,我手脚都好像灌了铅一样沉重,脑子里乱哄哄的,我以为我会就地昏倒。

When I saw him sitting there, my limbs felt so heavy like it was filled with lead. My head was in a mess, I thought I would just faint there and then.

  我不知道我是怎么就抱着他了,也不知道他是怎么就肯轻易原谅我了。

I don’t know how I managed to hug him and why he was willing to forgive me so easily.

  我做了那么多坏事蠢事,上天都不罚我?没道理的。

I did so many stupid and bad things. Is heaven not going to punish me? This doesn’t make any sense.

  没关系,上天怎么罚我我都心甘情愿了。因为我的肖恒回来了,他跟我说话,对我笑。

It’s okay. I’m willing to take any punishment heaven will give me. Because, my Xiao Heng is back. He is speaking to me and even smiling at me.

  每一秒钟我都幸福得发抖,幸福得恐惧。

I’m trembling from happiness every second, fearful because of all the happiness.

  我真的可以这样吗?我这样的坏人真的可以就这样拥有一个那么好的人吗?

Can I really do this? Can a bad person like me obtain such a good person just like this?

  五月五日

5th May

  肖恒今天昏倒了。

Xiao Heng fainted today.

  就那么毫无预警地,上一秒钟还在说话还在笑,下一秒钟就什么也不知道了。

It happened without any warning. He was still chatting and smiling a moment ago and the next moment, I don’t know what happened.

  我自然被方写忆和路蔚夕修理了,我该。

Naturally, I was beaten up by Fang Xieyi and Lu Weixi. I deserve it.

  修理十次我都该的。

I deserve it even if I was beaten up ten times.

  五月六日

6th May

  肖恒醒了。

Xiao Heng woke up.

  他还是那么纵我,完全不责怪我的鲁莽行为,却只能让我更内疚。

He still treated me the same and never blamed me for my reckless behaviour. However, that only made me feel more guilty.

  他说他会去做手术。

He said he will do the operation.

  我很害怕,我怕他会惩罚我,好不容易醒了之后又……

I’m very scared. I’m scared that he will punish me. He has finally woken up and now… 

  我不能这样想,肖恒不会有事的。

I shouldn’t think this way. Xiao Heng will be fine.

  五月七日

7th May

  我准备一周不再记日记,直到肖恒做手术那天。

I’ve decided not to write my diary for one week until the day Xiao Heng does his operation.

  我没有时间写这些有的没有的,我要好好珍惜和他在一起的每一分每一秒。

I don’t have time to write these things. I must cherish every second with him.

  要是上天这次会把他从我身边带走,我不用他开口就会把自己顺便捎上。

If heaven is going to take him away from me this time, I will go along with him without him telling me to.

  我说到做到。

I will do what I say.

  五月十三日

13th May

  手术成功了。

The operation was successful.

  真好。

That’s great.

  本来因为今天是十三号黑色星期五,我觉得非常不吉利。

I thought it would be ominous because today was Friday the 13th.

  幸好只是迷信。

Fortunately, it was all just superstitions.

  我决定不再记日记了,缅怀一些已经过去的痛苦或者甜蜜,没有意义。

I’ve decided not to write my diary anymore. It was pointless as it only recollects the pain or sweetness that has already passed.

  我相信将来的每一天我会和肖恒一起,非常幸福。

In the future, I believe that I will be very happy with Xiao Heng everyday.

  如果太幸福会被惩罚的,因此我把它们偷偷记在心里就好了。

I might get punished if I was too happy, so I will just secretly remember them in my heart.

  我一定会让他幸福的。

I will definitely make him happy.

  再没有了?在经历过大喜大悲之后,在过去的种种在眼前电影一般重放之后,突然断在这里,肖恒看着后面的页页空白,有点怅然若失。

There’s no more? The past which was replayed like a movie showing all the happiness and sadness experience came to a sudden stop. Xiao Heng felt a little melancholic seeing the empty pages at the back.

  干嘛啊……出院之后直到现在,虽然也有一点小小的摩擦,但是其实日子过得那么幸福,为什么却没有记下来啊。

What are you doing… Why haven’t you recorded anything from my discharge until now? Although we had some small amount of conflicts, our days together were full of happiness.

  就像一个故事,过多的坎坷之后光明来得太突然,而光明之后的幸福日子又只字不提,非常意犹未尽。

Just like a story, they suddenly found their happiness after passing many obstacles. Yet, nothing was mentioned about their days of happiness, making people wishing to know more.

  正郁闷着,突然从日记本后面的夹页里掉出来一张纸。

Just when he was feeling dispirited, a piece of paper fell out from the interleaf of the book.

  肖恒接住一看,是信,签着是洛予辰写给肖恒的。

Xiao Heng took it up for a look. It was a letter from Luo Yuchen to Xiao Heng.

  非常淡雅的信封,肖恒拿着突然有种初中生第一次收到情书的感觉,不禁有点心跳脸红。

The envelope looked very elegant. As Xiao Heng was holding on to it, his heart beat faster and he blushed, feeling similar to how he received his first love letter in middle school.

  对肖恒这样有点古板的人来说,笔和纸写出来的信件,永远都比什么手机短信、电子邮件甚至口头上的甜言蜜语要让人心动地多。

For an old fashioned person like Xiao Heng, receiving a handwritten letter is always more touching than a message, email or even verbal sweet talks.

  因为它就像一个被包好的礼物,在拆开的时候包涵着无限的幻想和可能性,让人非常幸福。

Because it was like a nicely wrapped present. When you are opening it, there lies many possibilities and an infinite fantasy, making one feel very happy.

  而且可以天荒地老地留存下来,不会因为你按错了一个键就消失了。

You can also continue keeping it no matter how long it is and it wouldn’t disappear just because you press the wrong button.

  洛予辰的字迹很漂亮,从初中开始就是这样,虽然他不经常去写东西。

Luo Yuchen’s handwritting is very pretty. It has been like this ever since middle school, although he doesn’t write often.

  肖恒宝贝:

Baby Xiao Heng:

  是第一次给你写信吧,因为从小到大我们从来没有真正地分开过,连写信都真的是第一次。

This must be the first time I’m writing a letter to you. We have never been separated from each other since we were young, so it’s really the first time I’m writing a letter to you.

  嗯,是没有分开过。肖恒想,没分开过不值啊,连封洛予辰写的情书都没收过。不过现在可以拿这封道歉信来凑个数了,肖恒窃笑。

Mhm, we have never been separated before. Xiao Heng thought. It’s not worth not being separated before, I ended up never receiving a love letter from Luo Yuchen before. But I guess it isn’t that bad using this apology letter to make up for the loss. Xiao Heng giggled.

  我不知道该怎么写你才能明白我要表达的意思,我从小就笨,写不好作文的,你也知道,我担心我写的东西会不小心惹你生气。肖恒宝贝,我是在道歉,如果真的不小心写错什么,请你不要介意。

I don’t know what I should write for you to understand what I’m trying to express. You know I have always been stupid and can’t write well. I’m worried that I may make you angry with what I write. Baby Xiao Heng, I’m apologising in this letter. If I really wrote something wrong, please do not mind it.

  我知道,肖恒笑,你的表达方式从来都有问题。没关系,信里你的用词用句如有歧义我会尽量把你的意思往积极方向理解的。

I know, there’s always problems with how you express yourself. Xiao Heng said. It’s okay. If the words you use in this letter are ambiguous in meaning, I will try my best to understand it in the positive direction.

  好了,认认真真开始看!肖恒想。

Alright, let’s take a look! Xiao Heng thought.

  直到这里,他都没有想到这不仅仅是一封笨笨的道歉而已,没想到拿在手里的差不多是洛予辰一生中的最高文学成就,没想到自己会是笑着开始看,哭着看完。

Xiao Heng still hasn’t thought that this letter wasn’t just purely an apology letter up to this point. He didn’t expect that what he was holding in his hand was probably the best literary work in Luo Yuchen’s life. He didn’t expect that he would start reading with a smile but finish reading with a cry.

  有一件事我要跟你坦白,我其实早就喜欢上你了,比你知道的时间还要早得多,甚至比我知道的时间还要早得多。

There’s something that I want to confess to you. Actually, I have liked you long ago, much earlier than you knew and much earlier than I myself knew.

  我笨,一直没有发现,我知道我一直对你很坏很过分,我根本没有资格这样说,对不起。

I’m stupid and never realised. I know that I have always been cruel to you and have no right to say this to you. I’m sorry.

  具体的时间我也不清楚,说不定是高中我们一起踢球时,说不定是初中我不停地在喜欢你的女孩子找你的时候从中作梗时,甚至说不定是我第一次见到你的时候。

I don’t know when I started liking you. Maybe it’s when we were playing soccer together during highschool, maybe it’s when I kept hindering the girls who like you in middle school or maybe when I saw you for the first time..

  我只是一直没有承认,真的真的很对不起。

I just never admitted. I’m really really sorry.

  后来遇到夏明修,我才第一次承认我能够喜欢男生,我就以为我这一辈子一定是他的。

It was only after I met Xia Mingxiu that I admitted that I am able to like a guy for the first time. Hence, I thought that I would be his forever. 

  夏明修说那是一时迷惑,我也不知道他是不是对的,我只知道之后我意外发现你喜欢我,然后意外发现我一直也喜欢你。

Xia Mingxiu said that it was just infatuation. I don’t know whether he is right or not. I only know that I have accidentally found out that you like me afterwards, then I accidentally realised that I like you too.

  可是我居然那么愚蠢没有能够承认我喜欢你,却感觉自己好像被背叛了一样,其实根本是我自己不能接受我一直爱着你这个事实,因为我以为我对夏明修的感情是纯粹的,容不下一点杂质,我觉得我已经喜欢他了又怎么可以有二心。

However, I was so stupid and wasn’t able to admit that I like you. Instead, I felt betrayed. It was actually just me being unable to accept the fact that I have always liked you. I thought that my feelings for Xia Mingxiu were pure and cannot be tainted. I couldn’t believe that I was thinking of someone else even though I like him.

  我很自私,因为自己愚蠢的完美主义而让你痛苦。

I’m very selfish. I’ve hurt you because of my dumb ideology.

  我可能是太自信了,我觉得你会一直陪着我,所以我可以一直不用在意。你也确实真的一直在我身边,一直对我特别好,好到我已经养成了习惯,觉得到天荒地老肖恒这个人也会天天在我身边,因此我不需要特别去思考,也不需要特别去珍惜。

I was probably too overconfident. I felt that you will always be with me so I could afford not to care. You were indeed always with me and treated me especially well. You treat me so well to the point that I treated it as natural and felt that this person called Xiao Heng will always be with me even when we are old. Hence, I thought that I didn’t need to think too much about it and didn’t have to cherish you.

  我故意忽略你的感情,直到一切都变了,你突然变成了有钱人家的少爷。

I purposely ignored your feelings until everything changed.. You suddenly became a rich young master.

  现在想想我是在害怕吧,当我是偶像歌手,肖恒只是一个普通大学生,将来也只是一个普通白领的时候,我可以确定我能够掌控得了你的心,我可以确定你一辈子也只能关注我想着我喜欢我,但是当你身边像方写忆、路蔚夕那样优秀的人开始环绕的时候,我害怕你很快就会看不见我。

Now that I think about it, I was probably afraid. I became an idol singer. You were just an ordinary university student and can only be a normal white collar worker in the future. I was able to make sure that I can still control your heart and make sure that you can only care about, think of and love me. However, I became afraid that you will soon forget about me with outstanding people like Fang Xieyi and Lu Weixi around you.

  可悲的是即使被这种感情淹没,我当时仍然不知道它是什么。

Sadly, I still wasn’t able to learn what my feelings were despite being submerged in it.

  所以当我让你帮助夏明修,你答应并提出条件的时候,我才会同意得那么快吧。

That was also probably why I agreed to your conditions so quickly when I asked you to help Xia Mingxiu.

  因为我明明窃喜的,明明愿意的,明明爱你的。

Because I clearly love you and was willing to be with you.

  可是我不明白我当时太不安,不安你要我十年,是不是哪天就会毁约,是不是哪天就会突然不要我;我也犹豫,我一直以为我喜欢夏明修,我不知道该怎么面对他;我也紧张,因为你对我太好,我每一天和你在一起就会更沉迷一点,虽然拼命想逃却无可自拔。

However, I didn’t understand that I was feeling uneasy then. You wanted ten years with me. I was uneasy and scared that you will break the promise one day. Will you stop wanting me one day? I was also hesitant. I always thought that I like Xia Mingxiu. I didn’t know how I should face him. I was also nervous. You treat me too well. For each passing day when I’m with you, I feel myself indulging further. I tried my best to escape from this but I wasn’t able to.

  我当时不懂,我十年来都不懂,因为一想起来这些事情就心烦就惶恐就手足无措,所以我以为我恨你。

I didn’t understand then and never did in the ten years. I always thought I hated you because I always feel upset, panicky and helpless when I think of these things.

  在认定我恨你之后很多事情就好解决了,我知道自己一天天变得冷漠冷酷,你开始拿我没办法,要看我的脸色,听我的话,我自己的良心也得到了解脱,我觉得反正都是你逼迫,我没有对不起任何人。

Many things became easier to resolve after believing that I hate you. As I got colder each passing day, you started not knowing what to do with me. You had to listen to me and see my mood. I also finally felt relief. I have thought that since you were the one who forced this, I’m not sorry to anyone.

  肖恒,写到这里我很怕,为什么我是个这样的人,为什么你还会爱我,还愿意看着我。

Xiao Heng, I feel so scared when I wrote up to this point. Why do you still love me and stay with me when I’m such a person?

  我觉得我不配,你的条件可以和比我好十倍一百倍的人在一起。我也知道我已经不配了,但是我爱你,很爱你,我根本就没有办法控制,我很怕会失去你,天天都在害怕。

I feel that I don’t deserve you. You could have found someone ten or even a hundred times better than me. I know that I don’t deserve you, but I love you very much. I cannot control myself. I’m so scared that I will lose you, I feel so every day.

  你可能永远不会知道以为你死掉的日子我每一天怎么挣扎着活过来的。

You might never know how I struggled to live during the days I thought you were dead.

  我已经尝够了失去你的恐怖,我真的怕了,肖恒,你不要再离开我。

I have experienced enough the horror of losing you. I’m really afraid. Xiao Heng, don’t leave me again.

  我会努力变成一个更好的人,会努力更温柔更有趣,也会好好学做菜,认真做家务,再也不会和别人随便吃饭逛街,我真的会改,我不会耽误很久,请你给再我一点点时间。

I will work hard to become a better person to be more gentle and interesting. I will also learn how to cook and do household chores. I will stop casually eating with others outside. I will really change. I won’t take too long. Please give me a little more time. 

  我真的会努力,我不会让你失望,请你相信我。

I will really work hard to not disappoint you. Please believe in me. 

  我爱你。肖恒,我爱你。

I love you. Xiao Heng, I love you.

  肖恒很容易心软和容易被感动,而洛予辰就是那个很容易让他心软让他感动的人。把信收进上衣口袋,合上日记本,肖恒抹了一把脸,觉得洛予辰好让人心疼,而自己是个彻头彻尾的大坏人。

It’s really easy for Xiao Heng to relent or be touched and Luo Yuchen was also someone who can easily make him relent or feel touched. Xiao Heng placed the letter inside his coat pocket and closed the diary before wiping the tears off his face. Xiao Heng felt that Luo Yuchen sure makes one’s heart ache and he himself was a bad guy. 

  明明看得到洛予辰的痛苦,自己一点一滴都知道的。

He had clearly seen Luo Yuchen’s pain. He knew all about it.

  洛予辰受的伤害遭到的灾难一点也不比自己少。

Luo Yuchen has suffered not less than me.

  怎么自从回来之后只会想着自己和洛予辰的关系会不会走上那条老路,却从来都没有想过洛予辰的不安呢?

Why do I keep worrying about whether our relationship will return back to the old ways ever since I came back but never ever thought of Luo Yuchen’s insecurity?

  明明洛予辰不是那么聪明的,他到现在仍然不知道自己在为什么事情发飙,却认认真真地在痛苦在道歉。

Luo Yuchen clearly isn’t very smart. He still doesn’t know what I am angry about but is still sincerely apologising and in pain.

  明明知道现在洛予辰对自己特别宠溺特别好,也明明看到他为了自己什么都认真去学认真去做的,不仅不知感恩,不知满足,还怀疑人家。

I clearly knew that Luo Yuchen treats me very well and spoils me a lot now. I also saw him learning and doing things for me. Yet, I wasn’t grateful nor content and even doubted him.

  肖恒你好过分,他指责自己。

Xiao Heng, you are too much. He criticized himself.

  获得新生之后不是自己发誓今后好好在一起,每一天都让洛予辰特别幸福的吗。

Didn’t I promise that we will live well together and make Luo Yuchen very happy everyday when I obtained a new life?

  结果呢?你让人家惴惴不安,每天小心翼翼地过着你差不多过了十年的日子,报复得爽吗?

What happened in the end? You made him uneasy and live everyday carefully like you did in the past ten years. Was your revenge fun?

  干嘛那么矫情,干嘛要欺负洛予辰啊,是嫌好日子过得多了非要给折腾成难受的么。

Why are you so pretentious? Why are you bullying Luo Yuchen? Did you find the good days too much for your liking and want to toss it upside down?

  简简单单的幸福,其实只要简简单单的爱意,简简单单的温度,简简单单的爱护而已。

Our simple happiness only requires simple love, warmth and care.

  是自己把这些都搞复杂了。

I was the one who made all these too complicated.

  自我反省之后,肖恒突然反应过来洛予辰到现在还不知所踪呢。

After reflecting, Xiao Heng suddenly realised that Luo Yuchen was still missing.

  笨蛋,跑到哪里去了,不是吓得连家都不敢回吧。

Idiot, where did you run to? Don’t tell me you don’t dare to return home anymore.

  赶紧打电话。

I should quickly call.

  不生气了,不冷战了,没必要。

I’m not angry anymore. No need for any cold war. It’s unnecessary.

  跟那种又傻又迟钝的家伙,真没必要。

It’s not needed against such a dense and silly fellow.

  肖恒拨了洛予辰的手机,几声之后有人接了,却是陌生女人的声音。

Xiao Heng dialed Luo Yuchen’s phone and someone picked up soon after. However, it was an unknown female’s voice.

  肖恒还不至于没风度到立刻挂电话,结果电话那头的人先说了:“这里是S市中心医院……”

Xiao Heng wasn’t ungentleman to the point of hanging up the phone immediately. Then, the person over the phone said, “This is city S’s central hospital…”

  肖恒毛骨悚然,头皮都发毛了,立刻飞奔到医院。

Xiao Heng was horrified and all his hair stood up. He rushed to the hospital immediately.

  幸好没有什么事情,洛予辰个傻瓜只是整晚都一个人躲在酒吧酗酒,喝成差点酒精中毒而已。

Luckily, it wasn’t anything serious. Luo Yuchen that idiot spent the whole night in the bar chugging down alcohol and almost got alcohol poisoning.

  肖恒在一边看他憔悴苍白的脸色,很是心疼。

Xiao Heng felt his heart ache when he saw Luo Yuchen’s languish and pale face.

  喝多了很难受的,肖恒这辈子就喝多过一次,从此不敢再领教。

It feels terrible when you drink too much. Xiao Heng has only done it once in his entire life and he doesn’t dare to try it again.

  洛予辰一定很难受,不然不会连睡着还一脸痛苦的表情,肖恒想,归根到底是我让他难受了。

Luo Yuchen must be feeling very uncomfortable. Or else, why does he look like he is in so much pain even when he’s asleep? In the end, I was the root cause of this.

  肖恒觉得自己真是可恶,竟然会去试验自己有没有能力让洛予辰难受,来证明他是不是真的那么爱自己。

Xiao Heng felt that he was very hateful to actually test whether he had the ability to make Luo Yuchen unhappy to prove whether Luo Yuchen loved him or not.

  不是应该试着证明的是自己有没有能力让他从此不要再难受吗。

Shouldn’t I be testing to prove whether I had the ability to make him no longer unhappy?

  “你干嘛自虐呢,傻瓜。”肖恒心疼地摸摸洛予辰有些苍白的脸,没想到洛予辰却突然睁开了眼睛。

“Why did you abuse yourself? Idiot.” Xiao Heng touched Luo Yuchen’s pale face in distress. Unexpectedly, Luo Yuchen opened his eyes.

  “我不自虐你就不跟我分手了是么?”洛予辰咬牙切齿,很凶恶很委屈地看着肖恒。

“Will you not break up with me if I stop abusing myself?” Luo Yuchen clenched his teeth and looked at Xiao Heng fiercely with grievance.

  我什么时候要和你分手了?肖恒愣了一下,然后想起来他吓唬洛予辰的那句话。

Since when did I wanted to break up with you? Xiao Heng was stunned for a moment before remembering the words he used to scare Luo Yuchen.

  没有啊,没有真的想分手,那只是说说而已。

No, I didn’t really want to break up. I was just saying.

  只是说说而已,没想到会叫你那么难受。

I was just saying. I didn’t expect you to be so upset.

  即然这样我以后不会随便乱说了,对不起。

If that’s the case, I won’t say it anymore. Sorry.

  摇摇头,肖恒玩弄着洛予辰额角的发丝,温柔地看着他。

Shaking his head, Xiao Heng played with a strand of hair on Luo Yuchen’s forehead and looked at him gently.

  “我以后会努力变得更好,”洛予辰说:“我会努力不闹绯闻,不和那些女生去吃饭,多做家务,所以……”

“I will work hard to become better.” Luo Yuchen continued, “I will try not to get into any scandals. I won’t eat with those women. I will do more household chores. So… 

  肖恒有些不安地笑笑,心想你幸好那么多缺点我才能把你留在身边,要是你真变得那么完美我怎么配得上你啊。

Xiao Heng smiled uneasily. Luckily you have so many bad points. That’s why I can keep you by my side. How do I match up with you if you become so wonderful?

  “所以,以后不准再说要分手!”洛予辰说着,表情像个倔强的小孩。

“So, don’t say that you want to break up ever again!” Luo Yuchen looked like a stubborn kid as he said this.

  “好好好。”肖恒笑。

“Okay okay okay.” Xiao Heng smiled.

  “不要像哄小孩一样哄我,我要你认认真真地答应!”洛予辰说。

“Don’t comfort me like you’re coaxing a child. I want you to seriously agree!” said Luo Yuchen.

  我是认认真真的答应的。

I’m agreeing seriously.

  肖恒有些宠溺有些无奈地笑,想着相爱的人之间会共有的那种不安、那种脆弱、那种需要小心呵护的珍贵感情。

Xiao Heng smiled dotingly and helplessly. He thought of the uneasiness and fragility people in love will share. Those were precious feelings that needed to be carefully protected.

  是相互的,再也不是一方把另一方吃得死死的。

It is mutual. It will no longer be one person having the other totally in his grasp.

  洛予辰也会脆弱也会害怕也会犯傻,也会明明被爱着明明被宠着还身在其中而不知。

Luo Yuchen will also feel weak and afraid and make mistakes. There will also be time he is ignorant to it despite being love and spoilt.

  “傻瓜,我是不会离开你的。”

“Idiot. I won’t leave you.”

  “真的?”洛予辰还问。

“Really?” Luo Yuchen still asked.

  “是啊。担心离开你之后你会饿死或者把自己毒死。”

“Yes. I’m worried that you will starve or poison yourself to death after I leave.”

  洛予辰终于被逗笑了,肖恒看着也觉得释然。

Luo Yuchen finally laughed because of the teasing. Xiao Heng felt relieved as he looked at him.

  “道歉。”肖恒突然说。

“Apologize.” Xiao Heng suddenly said.

  洛予辰这次乖了,虽然突如其来让他愣了一下,还是很快就反应过来:“对不起。绯闻的事情……还有彻夜不归。”

Luo Yuchen was obedient this time. Although he was stunned because it was so sudden, he quickly reacted and said, “I’m sorry about the scandal… and staying out all night.”

  其实他还是没有明白他究竟错在哪里!肖恒无奈。

He still doesn’t know where his mistake lies! Xiao Heng felt helpless.

  算了,反正是自己家养的,笨点就笨点吧。

Forget it. He’s mine anyway. It’s fine if he’s stupid.

  “行了。原谅你,以后承认错误也要像这样爽快听到没。”肖恒居高临下地说。

“Fine. I will forgive you. You should be as straightforward as now when you admit your mistakes in the future. Do you hear me?” said Xiao Heng condescendingly.

  “是,皇上。”洛予辰没好气地回答。

“Yes, your majesty.” Luo Yuchen replied calmly.

  “啊。”肖恒突然看向窗外:“下雪了……”

“Ah.” Xiao Heng looked outside the window and said, “It’s snowing…”

  才刚刚十一月底而已,天气都不是特别冷,却下雪了。

It has just reached the end of November. The weather isn’t especially cold yet it’s snowing.

  洛予辰看着肖恒绽放笑容的侧脸,不禁有些痴了。

Luo Yuchen saw the side view of Xiao Heng’s smiling face and became dazed.

  他从以前就喜欢雪,每一次看到都会露出那种很天真的笑容。

He had liked the snow since long before. Every time he saw the snow, he would show a very innocent smile.

  明明平时那么安静那么沉稳,有的时候却还像个小孩子。

He’s usually so quiet and calm, but he was also like a child sometimes. 

  “要出去看看吗?”洛予辰走到他身后,从后面抱住他。

“Do you want to go out and take a look?” Luo Yuchen walked behind Xiao Heng and hugged him from the back.

  “你行吗你?”肖恒翻了个白眼问。

“Are you able to?” Xiao Heng rolled his eyes and asked.

  只是宿醉而已,家伙竟然怀疑我的实力,洛予辰不爽,今天晚上整不死你。

It’s only a hangover and this guy is already doubting my ability. Luo Yuchen was unhappy. Let’s see how I straighten you tonight.

  两个人走出医院的大门的时候雪还在下,一团团白白的分外可爱,地上也积攒了一层,踩上去软绵绵的。

It was still snowing when the two of them went out of the hospital gate. The tiny bunch of white was especially cute. A layer of snow has accumulated on the ground and was very soft when stepped onto.

  “真的是六边形的……”洛予辰用手接了一朵,非常吃惊地说:“我以前都以为只能用显微镜才能看见,没想到它其实那么大一只”。

“It’s really six-sided…” Luo Yuchen caught one with his hand and said in shock, “I always thought we need to use a microscope to see it. I didn’t expect that it would be so large.”

  “漂亮吗?”肖恒看着洛予辰手上正在逐渐融化的花纹繁复的雪花,微笑着问道。

“Is it pretty?” Xiao Heng looked at the complex looking snowflake that was gradually melting on Luo Yuchen’s hand and asked with a smile.

  “嗯,做得还真是巧夺天工啊……”

“En. It’s an ingenious piece of work…”

  “你现在才知道啊?”肖恒看洛予辰那样大惊小怪的样子,终于在洛予辰的头上敲了一下:“生活中多少美好的东西都被你这样错过去了!”

“You just learned it now? Seeing Luo Yuchen getting so excited over such a little, Xiao Heng knocked on his head and said, “You’ve missed many wonderful things in life just like this!”

  “我错了,”洛予辰笑着承认:“你以后要教我慢慢注意啊,既然肖恒早就知道世界如此美好。”

“I was wrong.” Luo Yuchen smiled and admitted, “You have to teach me about it in the future, since you already knew how wonderful the world is.”

  “你知道还有什么事情很美好么?”肖恒问。

“Do you know what else is wonderful?” asked Xiao Heng.

  洛予辰期待地看着他。

Luo Yuchen looked at him expectantly.

  “温度!”肖恒说着长长厚厚的围巾解下来,扔了一半到洛予辰肩膀上。

“Warmth!” After saying so, Xiao Heng removed his long and thick scarf and threw half of it onto Luo Yuchen’s shoulder.

  “大冬天的穿得那么少,你到底是真的不冷还是非要美丽冻人?”

“It’s winter and you’re wearing so little. Do you really not feel any cold or do you just want to be the beautiful cold man?”

  我是真的没有你那么怕冷!洛予辰心想,不过从他接过围巾的一瞬间这个观点就突然站不住脚了。

I’m really not as afraid of the cold as you! Luo Yuchen thought. However, when he received the scarf, his view no longer stood. 

  好暖和……

How warm… 

  带着肖恒的体温,洛予辰不知道有东西可以这么暖和,怪不得肖恒会喜欢围这种丑丑的东西。

The scarf carried Xiao Heng’s warmth. Luo Yuchen didn’t know that something could be so warm. No wonder Xiao Heng always likes wearing this ugly thing.

  反而是暖和了之后才觉着天气确实是冷,之前被冻麻木了,也没有太多的感觉。

After experiencing the warmth, the weather did feel cold. He was previously numb from the cold and didn’t feel much.

  洛予辰觉得好奇特,只有和肖恒在一起,自己才会不停地意识到自己以前从来没有看过的,从来没有想过的,从来没有深究过的。

Luo Yuchen found it percuilar. It was only after being with Xiao Heng that he kept noticing things that he never seen and thought before and things that he hadn’t looked into seriously before.

  和肖恒在一起,好独特,好新奇,好温暖。

It’s so special, novela and warm to be with Xiao Heng.

  自己好幸运。

He felt very lucky.

  洛予辰伸手紧紧拉着肖恒,几乎把他裹进怀里,就这样亲密地沿街步行。

Luo Yuchen stretched his hand out and held Xiao Heng tight, almost pulling him into his embrace. Then they walk along the street intimately like this.

  “喂喂,放手,”肖恒微微挣扎:“你不怕被人看见啊。”

“Hey hey, let go.” Xiao Heng struggled slightly and said, “Are you not afraid that someone will see?”

  虽然大雪中的街道行人很少,雪白而静谧,肖恒还是担心,两个人戴着一条围巾还亲密地手牵手,洛予辰被拍到的话事情就头大了。

Although there weren’t many people on the street due to the snow, Xiao Heng was still worried. The two of them were sharing a scarf and even holding hands intimately. It will be troublesome if Luo Yuchen got caught by someone.

  结果洛予辰不仅不放手还抓得更紧,在肖恒耳边低声说:“被看到更好。”

When Luo Yuchen heard this, not only did he not let go, he even held his hand tighter. He whispered into Xiao Heng’s ear, “It’s better if we’re caught.”

  “被看到,让全世界的人都知道你肖恒是我的人,看谁还敢来抢。”

“If we are caught, I can let the whole world know that you belong to me. I will see who dares to come and snatch.” 

  肖恒心里嘀咕着也就你把我当宝贝,你洛大帅哥光芒四射还会担心我被人抢。

Xiao Heng thought in his heart, “Only you would think of me as precious. Your handsomeness is overwhelming and you’re still worried that I will be stolen.

  但是嘴角还是露出了灿烂的笑意。

However, he still showed a bright smile.

  “回家做刨冰吧。”肖恒突然说。

“Let’s go home and make some shaved ice.” said Luo Yuchen suddenly.

  “哈?”肖恒觉得洛予辰开始逐渐被自己同化成了跳跃性不正常思维,说话也越来越不可理解。

“Huh?” Xiao Heng felt that Luo Yuchen was gradually being infected by him to have ever changing thoughts. It was getting harder and harder to understand what he was saying.

  “加点水果,不然没味道。”

“Add some fruits or there won’t be any taste.”

  肖恒看着洛予辰舔了舔落在嘴唇上的雪花,心想果然是把洛予辰养馋了,什么东西都能往嘴里送。

Xiao Heng saw Luo Yuchen lick away the snowflake that landed on his lips and thought, “I have indeed made Luo Yuchen too gluttonous, anything can enter his mouth.”

  不过刨冰也不错吧……

But shaved ice isn’t so bad… 

  温暖的家,窗外的雪,自制的冰激凌……

A warm house which has snow falling outside the window and our self-made ice cream… 

  还有一直以来非常非常爱着的这个人。

There’s also the person who I have always loved very much.

  “要不要试着一起跑回去?”肖恒建议。

“Do you want to try running home?” Xiao Heng suggested.

  洛予辰没说话,拉起肖恒就向前跑。

Luo Yuchen didn’t say anything and immediately started running forward while pulling Xiao Heng home.

  “喂喂,方向不对啦!”

“Hey hey, it’s the wrong direction!”

  “你跟着我就好了,不会把你卖了啦。”

“Just follow me, I won’t sell you.”

  洛予辰真的好任性啊……肖恒被他拉着,却露出了大大的笑容。

Luo Yuchen is so wilful… Xiao Heng was pulled by him but revealed a wide smile.

  被这只手牵着,很温暖,不管去哪里,再也不会放手了。

It’s very warm being held by this hand. No matter where we go, I will never let go again.

  跟他在一起,有用不完的幸福吧。

There must be an never ending amount of happiness when I’m with him.

  呼啸而过耳边的冷风,霓虹闪烁的街道,银白的雪景,温暖的呼吸和发自内心的欢笑。

The cold wind that is whistling past his ears, the street shining with neon light, the snow white scenery, the warm breath and the smile that comes from the bottom of my heart.

  不知道尽头在哪里,也不想管最终会到达哪里。

I don’t know where the end is and don’t care where I will end up in the end.

  就想这样一直跑下去,天荒地老,永远也不会跑到尽头。

I just wish to continue running on like this until we are old, never reaching an end.

  因为同样分享着同一份幸福,并将一直守护它、珍惜它。

Because we both share the same happiness and we will always protect and cherish it.

  因为同样相信牵着对方的这种温度。

Because we both believe in the warmth of holding each other’s hand.

  好吧,那就跟着你跑吧。

Okay, I will run along with you.

  END


Previous Chapter ‡ Table of Content

+8

11 thoughts on “[LLBN] Side Story 6: Luo Yuchen’s Diary (VI)

  1. 4y4n4 says:

    Omgg.. The ending so good

    +27

  2. Mier says:

    Love it.
    Still shipping Xiao Heng with someone that’s not ml, though.

    +36

  3. milk says:

    I want someone to run along with too~

    +1

  4. Ki says:

    Xiao Cheng is too good for Yuchen.
    He still doesnt his own value.

    +8

  5. Pastry Pirate says:

    Thank you for translating this story! I’m glad that Xiao Heng is happy at the end. Luo Yuchen is such a pain. 😂 His middle school entries were endearing, but his thought process and Xiao Heng’s hesitation caused them a lot of grief.

    It’s ironic that this whole time Luo Yuchen was in the same situation as his girlfriends. He was in a relationship with someone while being in love with another person. I guess another reason he was unwilling to accept it was because he wanted to avoid being a hypocrite after going on about disloyalty.

    I’m really curious about Orange’s rewrite of this series!

    +3

  6. durian says:

    cried so much lol… i didnt even feel much sympathy for these characters but author sama writes very emotionally, and the side characters arent shallow either. theres no vindictive second lead, the love rival is a genuinely beautiful soul, and the girls are actually written like normal girls instead of bitter wenches. i like that the mc is very obviously flawed and isnt the blameless little doe of usual dog blood bls. hes selfish too, which is far more interesting. theyre both so stupid, and i like the Past Life Obsession Rollover thing, that actually made the current life obsession more bearable instead of being unreasonable. fatally entwined by fate… who am i to look away?

    thanks for translating this novel ♡ i love dog blood novels, it really soothes my ML Abuser heart ^^)

    +3

  7. Jason says:

    Love, love this story…txvm

    0

  8. Senpai says:

    That was a beautiful story! Thank you for such a good translation. I really liked Xiao Heng’s big brother. Really liked his character! 😀 But I really wished there was 18+ chapter too, some H scenes! 😉 *cough*

    0

  9. Jason says:

    Tx so much for the amazing translation. Read it twice, and cried a bucket. Love the ending.

    0

  10. Cocole says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful story with us 💓🙏💐❤️ Great translation work 👏👍🏽

    0

  11. hazelgrace001 says:

    Thank you so much for creating such a bitter- sweet story…(Mostly Bitter though)

    0

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