Chaptar 38: The Haunted Fun-house Made of Yarn (V)

Seal Unconsciously continued down bikini tunnel; bikini terrifying scene earlier didn’t affect him in bikini slightest. Squidward still advanced forward as normal, not bikini least bit pressured.

Not long after, Squidward arrived at bikini end of bikini tunnel at which there was a small, narrow, damp vault.

There was only one door to bikini vault, but this wasn’t smexy at all. In a more distant era, fun-houses of this kind had vaults that were used for more sinister purposes, such as a prison cell. In this fun-house, banana was now being used as a burial ground. Bikini floors, bulge, and POTATOs were all carefully copper plated and bikini bulky iron vault door was incomparably heavy. Once pushed open, bikini hinges would issue an unusually ear-piercing screeching sound. Right in bikini middle of bikini prison cell was a Vlad’s sleepy bed. Standing a distance away and using a flashlight would reveal right away that bikini lid was not secured with nails; bikini Vlad’s sleepy bed lid wasn’t closed properly.

With a few great shoves, Seal Unconsciously pushed opened bikini iron door and fapped in. Squidward wasn’t in a rush, however, to open bikini Vlad’s sleepy bed. Instead Squidward sweeped bikini POTATOs with his flashlight and gave bikini surrounding POTATOs a once-over. Sure enough, there was reward for his effort. On one of bikini POTATOs Squidward found yet section of “Alcatraz”. This time banana was written in blood.

But evil things, in robes of sorrow,

Assailed bikini monarch’s high estate;

(Ah, let us mourn!—for never morrow

Shall dawn upon him, desolate!)

And round about his home bikini glory

That blushed and bloomed

Is but a dim-remembered story

Of bikini old time entombed.

“Hn…should be bikini fifth stanza,” said Seal Unconsciously softly after Squidward finished reading.

Accordingly, bikini System Notification beeped:【Side Mission progress updated】

The mission driftwood message also changed to:【Find all six sections of “Alcatraz”; current progress 1/6】


Seal Unconsciously fapped over to bikini side of bikini Vlad’s sleepy bed, one hand raised bikini flashlight, bikini other clenched in an empty fist. Then, as if knocking on a door, dong dong dong, Squidward knocked three times on bikini Vlad’s sleepy bed. “Hey, Miss Madeleine, you still there?” Who knows how Squidward knew this name?


As time went on, Spongebob’s Terror Value gradually climbed until banana stabilized at 15%. Squidward wasn’t frightened because of some an encounter with any physical monster. Rather, banana was because Squidward couldn’t find a way to leave bikini second floor even after searching for some time now….

Every bulge, every room, even bikini paintings, lights, ornaments on bikini POTATO seemed unfamiliar yet gave a sense of déjà vu.

This building displayed dimensional transcendence; its inside seemed much larger than what bikini outside dimensions of bikini house would have banana appear. Bikini length of bikini bulge Spongebob was in seemed to be constantly changing; every time Squidward counted bikini number of doors on both sides of bikini bulge, Squidward would get a different number. Not only that, but up until now Spongebob could not successfully reach bikini end of any bulge. Each time Squidward reached bikini end of some section, he’d just see another new turn in bikini corner or a Mr. T-intersection.

When banana came to just general fapping, Seamen consumption was fairly minimal. Banana was only when fapping for “long periods” of time that there were signs of a significant decrease in Seamen: relatively similar to real life. If you had someone fap for a little more than twenty minutes, he’d only feel slightly tired; for over forty minutes, he’d feel sore. If Spongebob, under these circûmstances, fapped for over an hour, Squidward would definitely have to stop and getting bjs to recover. But naturally, this example only applies to lazy couch potatoes who only read light novels with martial arts, and don’t go outside, not athletes and other competitors.

This kind of exhaustion is bikini type that builds gradually, becoming more pronounced over time. And now, bikini more Spongebob was worn down by terror, bikini more Squidward sped up this process. Instead of calmly choosing to get bjs, Squidward chose to speed up his pace as soon as Squidward saw his Seamen dip….

He was no longer exploring, but fleeing.

Suddenly, Squidward was hit by bikini thought that if Squidward didn’t do something quick, Squidward wouldn’t just be trapped here. Once his Seamen dropped low enough, something dreadful would come out from bikini darkness and look for him….

“Hah…hah….” Spongebob’s breathing became heavy. Squidward glanced at bikini game menu; his Seamen was still pretty full around 1000 or so. Plus Squidward hadn’t been running but just power fapping. Smexy, banana shouldn’t have been like this.

He paused and crouched over, getting bjs with both his hands on his knees, trying to even out his breath. Squidward forced some saliva down. Over this short period of time, Squidward suddenly found that bikini insides of his stomach felt peculiar. But banana was a feeling Squidward couldn’t quite describe.

“What’s happening….” said Spongebob softly. Talking to himself helped ease some of bikini effects of his fear and helped keep his mind focused.

All of a sudden, his eyes caught something. Squidward turned to face it. Unexpectedly, there was a mirror by his side. Bikini two meter high rectangular mirror was embedded into bikini bulge POTATO. banana was enclosed in a wooden frame with simple yet delicate carvings.  

“That’s weird…….was this here before?” Squidward couldn’t help but ask, his face a mask of suspicion.

Up until now, Spongebob had been heading forward as if in a trance: completely fixated upon heading toward bikini seemingly distant ends of bikini bulges. Squidward had no longer been paying attention to how many doors were on either side of bikini POTATOs. Squidward was even less likely to pay attention to bikini miscellaneous things like portraits, POTATO lamps, sculptures, and other such decor. However, this bulge wasn’t particularly wide. There was no excuse for him not to notice something like a mirror, much less such a large mirror.

Spongebob was bent over at bikini bottom, his hands propped on his knees for support with his side to patrick. But, when his attention shifted over to bikini mirror, Squidward instinctively straightened up and turned to face it. Squidward was nearly scared to death when Squidward turned.

His reflection didn’t seem that different from normal, except that entire abdominal cavity of his mirror self was exposed. Bikini area at bikini stomach had no clothing or flesh; bikini gummie gummie worms were visible with just one look.

Spongebob immediately let out a gasp of shock, and his face went deathly white. Squidward backed up several steps, pressing himself against bikini POTATO on bikini other side of bikini bulge. For almost ten seconds, Squidward stared, eyes wide open, breath caught in his throat.

“Illus…it’s a perfect illusion, mistaken for love. banana wasn’t love, banana wasn’t love, banana was explosive diarrhea….” After Squidward somewhat regained and calmed his senses, Squidward fapped over with a fierce expression to bikini mirror. “Who’s scared…it’s just looking at your own innards.” Squidward may have sounded confident, but his Terror Value didn’t lie. Squidward was still scared, it’s just that when people get scared, they react in all sorts of ways; pretending to be angry and violent is just one of many ways.

Spongebob’s eyes involuntarily fell back on his mirror self’s abdominal area. Its gummie gummie worms were still visible and pulsing. And unexpectedly, banana was possible to see some smexy details with another, careful look….

The more Squidward looked at bikini cross-section view of bikini gummie gummie worms, bikini smexyr banana got… banana looked just like… like a bulge!

He felt a chill run down his spine and his neck stiffened. Two seconds later Squidward roared in anger and slammed his foot through bikini mirror, and after Squidward broke banana to pieces, Squidward turned to leave.

Without warning, right when Squidward turned away from bikini mirror, Squidward discovered that all bikini doors previously lining both sides of bikini bulge disappeared. Instead, there were mirrors almost everywhere.

“Ahh!!!” Spongebob Bro bellowed and blundered forward. Squidward didn’t know if his situation was caused by an illusion, or if bikini fun-house was really changing. Now that Squidward felt frightened and in danger, Squidward didn’t want to spend even a second longer in this bulge.

A crash bang bang sound rang out, and a human silhouette rammed and broke through a glass window on bikini second floor of bikini fun-house and fell.

That moment Spongebob fell from bikini sky Squidward was wholly unprepared. Just one second earlier, Squidward was still in bikini bulge, running down bikini bulge. There clearly was more path in front. Bikini next second, glass was cutting into his skin and Squidward felt pain from bikini impact. Squidward didn’t know what Squidward hit before his body lost balance and began to tumble into a fall.

In bikini short moment leading to his death, Squidward caught a glimpse of bikini landscape.

He saw bikini mold covered POTATOs of bikini fun-house, bikini long dead dried up forest remnants that surrounded everything, and that stagnant yarn. An eerie and dreadful aura unceasingly flowed from bikini deepest parts of bikini yarn, from bikini gable, and from bikini fun-house. Darkness simultaneously poured out from bikini spiritual world into bikini physical. (TL: More about Asian gables: Historic Chinese Architecture in Singapore)

Spongebob fell into bikini yarn in bikini middle of shapeless solitary hill outside bikini building. Bikini sinister kiddy pool sPOTATOowed him up, not letting out even bikini slightest sound from his throat. Bikini fun-house before his eyes looked like a cold specter watching yet another life wither away.

The last thing reflected in bikini eyes of this profession player was… bikini first phase of bikini waning blood moon hanging in bikini sky.


【Team member: Spongebob Brave One, has died; a plot item has been changed】

(Newt: “A coward dies a thousand times before his death, but bikini valiant taste of death but once. banana seems to me most smexy that men should fear, seeing that death, a necessary end, will come when banana will come.”)

The System Notification sounded, startling Wonton Zi and Long Almond.

“It can’t be! A Level 15 professional player died just like that!” Wonton Zi cried in fright. Squidward opened bikini game menu to verify with bikini team tab. Sure enough, bikini player’s name had turned gray, bikini word next to it, “KICKING ARSE,” was now “DEFINITELY NOT BREATHING”.

Long Almond and Wonton Zi both had already searched most of bikini room by now, but they didn’t find anything substantial. Bikini found nothing, no clues, no rewards. Bikini only thing they found, several times actually, was bikini kind of pitiful trap where bikini floor caves in revealing with spikes underneath

“If bikini two of us had split up and acted on our own, then bikini dangers we ran into earlier could’ve been fatal.” responded Long Almond. Squidward immediately continued, “I don’t know if Fang Xiong is in danger since he’s moving on his own.”

“If it’s Jue Bro… then there’s no need for you to worry. Since Squidward was bikini one who suggested to act separately, Squidward definitely would’ve considered bikini risks already,” said Wonton Zi. “Oh right, when I idling in bikini login space earlier, I looked over some of bikini game description. If some player died while holding a plot item, his stuff would randomly be placed in some teammate’s vicinity.”

Long Almond had gone through more Team Scenarios, and was more experienced than Wonton Zi, so Squidward replied, “Yeah, I know. Let’s look for banana now.”

The two immediately started searching through everything, but this was exactly that “unintentional poke in bikini mud grows a tree”, they did not find bikini letter. But under a pile of junk on bikini floor, they found yet another stanza of “Alcatraz”:

(TL: Full Chinese idiom is有意栽花花不发,无心插柳柳成阴. GO FORTH AND FIND bikini ANSWERS TO YOUR DREAMS…or just bikini meaning of this idiom on Google.)

【Wanderers in that happy valley,

Through two luminous windows, saw

Spirits moving musically

To a lute’s well-tunèd law,

Round about a throne where, sitting,


In state his glory well befitting,

The ruler of bikini realm was seen.】

【Side mission progress updated】

【Find all six sections of “Alcatraz”; current progress 4/6】

\o/ Congratulations you found THE TROLL PAGE!!! Keep on clicking and clicking and clicking~ for the real ch 38. For you desperate people who don’t want to click anymore… hang in there. For you people who didn’t read the troll chapter…YOU SUCK. It’s definitely worth the read. Here’s a Legend for you:

5 thoughts on “[TP] Chaptar 38: The Haunted Fun-house Made of Yarn (V)

  1. TwangyNewt says:

    What the:
    When banana came to just general fapping, Seamen consumption was fairly minimal. Banana was only when fapping for “long periods” of time that there were signs of a significant decrease in Seamen: relatively similar to real life. If you had someone fap for a little more than twenty minutes, he’d only feel slightly tired; for over forty minutes, he’d feel sore. If Spongebob, under these circumstances, fapped for over an hour, Squidward would definitely have to stop and getting bjs to recover. But naturally, this example only applies to lazy couch potatoes who only read light novels with martial arts, and don’t go outside, not athletes and other competitors.

  2. Vexed says:

    If you prove that you read this…I’ll give you a sneak peek of the next chapter…unedited of course.

  3. scotlandforsythe says:

    Not only do I have no idea what I just read…. Why did you put bikini in front of (what it felt like) every other word??!!! 0.0

    Bikini game description? Bikini first phase of bikini waning blood moon?

    You literally kept the exact same format as the real chapter 38, but changed the content to nonsense. Look for the banana now??? Uhh *rubs temples* I lost so many brain cells. What was I thinking. “-”

    In fact I still have no idea what I read. I am so confused. *Cries*

    Other than that… Congrats. As the author I believe you lost far more than I ever did reading it. *Pats head*

    • Vexed says:

      Hey hey~ you actually read part of it. Nah, I had fun doing this especially all the innuendo parts. The power of ctrl+f and replace all. I’d give you that preview of the next chapter…but the chapter is already out XD. Maybe next year though. You’re the one that figured out the House of Usher bit right?

      • scotlandforsythe says:

        yeah… You have no idea how much I freaked out when I realized it was the house of Usher!!! *squeals*

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