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Sidestory


 【1】

Valentine’s Day was originally a festival that came from the West, but it was sometimes even more lively than the Chinese Valentine’s Day within the country. I heard later from Owner that other than the traditional Valentine’s Day on February 14th, the 14th of every month was also considered Valentine’s Day. Black, white, red, and green. There seemed to be Valentine’s Days of various colours. Each month’s Valentine’s Day held a different meaning.

My chicken brain was dizzy. Humans were such complex advanced animals. Uh, except for my owner. I knew that he only wished to drink Pomelo Tea Day everyday.

Humans had their Valentine’s Day, and we chickens also had our own chicken Valentine’s Day.

Every time during this holiday, a portion of the single dogs (no, no, of course not real dogs) would have a face full of sorrow and despair as they bit on dog food[1]. I also heard that an FFF group existed with the members holding torches in their hands.

We chickens imitated the humans, and soon, a chicken’s FFF group appeared. A bunch of single chickens would hold matchsticks in their mouths. Though they only waved it around a little, not daring to really ignite something. If they weren’t careful, they could spark a small fire which could burn their feathers. If they caused a large fire, they would become freshly roasted chickens having appetizing smells and crispy textures. 

Therefore, the vast amount of single chickens must take note of fire safety during chicken Valentine’s Day.

Da Ji nodded his head along with the rest of the chickens. Then, he and I both looked toward Dashing Brother A and Fake Brother B.

Dashing Brother A was angered, “Enough! You don’t have to remind me!”

Fake Brother B coldly gave us a “humph” and left coolly.

Me: … 

I suddenly felt that their names should be exchanged. Fake Brother A and Dashing Brother B.

  【2】

Today was Valentine’s Day as well as chicken Valentine’s Day. Owner brought me while the rich owner hugged Da Ji. With the addition of Dashing Brother A and Fake Brother B, four chickens and two people went out onto the streets to walk.

The human couples on the street were wearing couple outfits and publicly displaying their love for each other. Da Ji didn’t want to lose to them, so every few steps he took, he would intentionally shake the ring on his leg. My chicken face reddened. By his side, I acted much more obedient and shy.

Because Da Ji and I were married, we wore matching rings on our ankles. They were red and blue husband rings. The rich owner had specially requested a skilled European designer to make it for us, haha.

During Valentine’s Day, many places would start holding various activities. Shops that sold drinks such as milk tea and pomelo tea also had discounts. Many shops on this street all started having various couple packages. Some examples of the activities included taking couple pictures, kissing, or having a competition to see who could drink the most pomelo tea. The winner could then have other drinks for free, etc.

This was so easy for my owner. After all, his “pomelo tea lunatic” title wasn’t just for show. Sadly, Owner was single. 

Owner cried in his heart. This is discrimination against people who are single! It’s unfair!

He regretted it. He shouldn’t have come out with the chickens today.

The rich owner furrowed his brow and obviously found this troublesome. He simply booked all the drink stores on the entire street to let Owner drink whatever he wanted. The rich owner could also visit wherever he wished.

Owner was stunned… He was so shocked that he quickly drank pomelo tea to calm himself down.

Although Da Ji wasn’t as haughty as the rich owner, he was still a chicken prince. He helped me book a chicken drink store and treated me to chicken tea as well as Dashing Brother A and Fake Brother B along the way.

The chicken tea was essentially water, but there were additives added to it. ABO hormones were added. There were also different flavours to cater to Alpha, Beta and Omega chickens.

As it was chicken Valentine’s Day, there were also various types of couple tea for chickens. The types were AO, AB and BO, three types of normal couple tea. There were also special chicken teas for AA, BB and OO types of couples, but very little were sold and it was also hard to make.

Although Da Ji and I were a celebrity couple amongst chickens, we were actually the more traditional AO couple. Two years ago in a country with a low chicken population, an OO chicken couple actually appeared. That was the legendary chicken couple. I tried to imagine the image and… 

Ahem. Anyway, the image was too beautiful, I dare not imagine.

Under the rich owner’s fervent gaze, Owner anxiously drank pomelo tea to calm down. Da Ji and I drank our chicken tea happily and sweetly used only one straw.

But afterwards, we found sharing one straw too troublesome and just directly used our beaks to drink. As we drank, our beaks pecked each other a few times.

Fake Brother B who drank tea on the side said, “I’m so hungry and thirsty!”

Dashing Brother A was angered once again. “Damn it! You guys don’t know how romantic it is to share the same straw!”

  【3】

Speaking of Valentine’s Day, there was a period of time when it was a trend to drink beer and eat fried chicken. Ugh, humans sure knew how to enjoy themselves.

However, we chickens couldn’t possibly eat fried chicken! They were our fellow chickens. Popcorn chicken, chicken wings, chicken drumsticks, chicken necks, and chicken clavicle etc, they were all cruel dismemberments and our nightmare!

The humans also liked going to KFC and McDonalds. However, in our chicken eyes, those two places were our slaughterhouse!

I remembered when I was young, there was a period when the bird flu was so severe that it was almost like the end of the world. And despite that, there were still brave humans entering KFC to eat us. My god! Foodies were so scary!

But to be honest, fried food did taste delicious. They smelled great too. I wanted to try them so much. Hence, I secretly ate fried worms and fried rice. I also tried some popcorn.

In the end, I had diarrhea the next day.  

Da Ji felt so distressed for me. He said if I dared to eat random things behind his back again, he would really be angry. He would lock me in the punishment room and make me eat soaked rice.

Owner was also shocked. He lamented, “Oh my, my silly Xiao Ji!”

The rich owner’s expression didn’t change since he felt that this was to be expected. Afterall, I was a silly chicken raised by my silly owner.

Dashing Brother A and Fake Brother B scolded me too. Dashing Brother A, the chicken with a low IQ all year round, also scorned me, “Haha, pregnancy makes one silly for three years.”

I nodded my head. Mhm, that makes sense. Not to mention, just how many times have I been pregnant already?

Anyway, ever since that diarrhea, I obediently went back to eating rice and worms.

  【4】

On the night of chicken Valentine’s Day, the chickens on our mountain held a lively celebration.

The best singer amongst us chickens, Fake  Brother B, was currently standing on the stage singing loudly. “Ge ge ge! Ge ge ge gu gu da…”

Fake Brother B was a talented singer.  He, who was full of talent, not only knew how to sing but also compose his own song. Recently, he arranged a medley named “Chicken King of Love Songs”. A large crowd of chicken fans surrounded him, and everyone praised that he was the chicken “Leo Ku”[2].

“Ge ge ge! Ge ge ge! Gu gu da…”

Fake Brother B sang emotionally and he reached the climax of the song. Below the stage, the chicken fans sang together along with him as some chickens waved straws in their beaks. The scene was very harmonious and moving.

Since Dashing Brother A fell in love at first sight with Fake Brother B, no, with Fake Brother B’s Alpha genes, he became Fake Brother B’s number one chicken fan and was also the chairman of Fake Brother B’s fan club.  

Right now, Dashing Brother A was following Fake Brother B’s rhythm. He flapped his wings nonstop, raised his chicken claws high, and shook his chicken butt. He shook and shook and shook the most. He was basically a soul dancer.

I respect him!  

After the singing performance was over, we chickens organised a large campfire night. Regardless of our ABO gender and species type, all of us held each others’ wing, hooked each other’s’ chicken claw, and started singing and dancing while surrounding the fire.

Da Ji and I also joined in the fun. I thought happily: It’s so happy to sing and dance like this. Maybe I can propose to Owner for us to have morning exercises every day. We can keep our bodies and mind active and increase our lifespan.

“Ge ge ge! Ge ge ge gu gu da!”

“O o o! O o o!”

Chicks who were yet adults: “Gu ji gu ji gu ji!”

The sound of chickens could be heard nonstop, and chicken feathers filled the air. For the first time in the rich owner’s life, he saw the chickens’ square dance. He had a perplexed expression and didn’t say anything for the whole time: … 

Owner pulled a corner of the rich owner’s shirt and spoke softly after gulping down his saliva, “There are so many chickens before us. That, I… I’m hungry.”

The rich owner was stunned. He silently passed Owner a cup of pomelo tea and said, “You can drink that.”  

Owner: “…”  

  【5】

Da Ji and I ate, drank, sang, jumped, and played for almost the entire day. Chicken Valentine’s Day was almost over. After the campfire night ended, we returned back to our large nest.

Da Ji and I have already lived on this mountain for many years. The two of our chicks were more promising. Some of them left  this land while some even went overseas to study. The chicks that have yet to become adults were being raised by our side.

Other than being close to Da Ji and I, some of the chicks liked to cling to Dashing Brother A and bully him. And some of them were infatuated with Fake Brother B, who was good at singing. There were also many who liked my owner and admired him very much. Whatever Owner drank, they would also drink. In the end, one of them secretly drank pomelo tea and was almost sent to the veterinary hospital.

Most of the chicks were very respectful towards the rich owner. Actually, intimidated would be a better word, for he was too rich and capricious!

After Da Ji and I climbed into the nest, his face sank, and he said in dissatisfaction, “Xiao Jiji, you went out by yourself to play last night and made me brood the eggs for the entire day.” 

I laughed.  

Who said that it must be an Omega or Beta chicken to brood the eggs? As the chicken of a new generation, I felt that it was better for our family’s Alpha chicken, Da Ji, to brood the eggs.

As it turns out, the chicks that hatched were all great and didn’t have any problems. It was just that the little chicks often called Da Ji “Mummy” or “Da Ji mummy”… 

“After you got me, you started neglecting me.” Da Ji pecked me lightly, and his voice became lower. “Xiao Jiji, today is chicken Valentine’s Day. You need to comfort me.”

My chicken face reddened. I understood how Da Ji wished to be “comforted” the moment I heard this ambiguous tone.

However, I avoided him. Da Ji immediately felt unhappy. I smirked and went to take out a new chicken-shaped bell. The grass rope that the bell hung on was also braided by me using my beak and claws for a very long time.

Haha, I’ve learnt how to braid a rope. In the future, I can help Da Ji weave a grass scarf.

“Happy chicken Valentine’s Day! Da Jiji, this is my gift for you.” I said with a blush.  

Actually, I went shopping with my close chicken friends yesterday. I also bought Da Ji a bell with my name similarly engraved on it.

Da Ji wore the bell. Then, he could no longer wait and pounced on me.  

  【6】

Many humans didn’t know that chicken mating was considered a type of “anal sex”. However, many things have evolved after the change caused by ABO hormones. It was even more special for Alpha chickens who had excellent genes. As time passed, that organ of theirs had also become… a little scary and indescribable.

I was currently being pushed forward again and again by Da Ji and couldn’t help but moan and cry out. I had to admit that Da Ji’s technique had become better and better after the continuous practice over the years. He lasted longer. On the other hand, it was getting easier for me to… 

Ah! Nn ah! I.. I can’t anymore! It’s too fast. I can’t… like this… 

I started trembling. Da Ji would pull out the whole thing and thrust it in deeper every time. I swallowed, spitted, and enveloped him completely. My inner walls couldn’t help but wind around it, deeply yearning for it.

Da Ji thrusted harder and harder as he enjoyed my tightness and warmth. The large thing went rampant as it invaded and occupied me again and again, causing wet sounds to be overflowing… 

My most sensitive spot was pierced and rubbed against strongly. Gradually, I reached the peak of pleasure, and it felt like electricity coursed through my body. My head raised, my chicken leg stiffened, and my claws trembled. It… It feels too intense! I’m going to… Nn… Nn ah!

Afterwards, my body was weak all over, and I could only let Da Ji lick and do whatever he wanted with me. I took in Da Ji’s hot member again and again while my stomach felt numb and was full of his essence.

  【7】

When we woke up the next day, Da Ji looked at the feathers in the nest and studied me all over. “Xiao Jiji, I realised that you are dropping more feathers than me recently.”

I was stunned. Oh yeah. That seems to be the case.

I never had worries about my feathers dropping since last time. I wasn’t a rooster that didn’t drop feathers, but I was a bald chicken. I only had those few feathers. If I dropped those, my butt would be completely bald. Wouldn’t it be embarrassing if it was naked?

“It’s okay Da Jiji. My feathers drop fast, but they grow fast too.”

I was speaking the truth. The new feathers that grew out were also brighter and prettier than the previous ones.

However, Da Ji still shook his head.  

He felt that it wasn’t good for my feathers to grow too fast either. He said that he wanted to bring me to a feather-dresser to cut away the excess feathers. I could get my feathers tidied, and he could also get a handsome hairstyle at the same time.

Me: “…”

To be honest, all of us were chickens. I really couldn’t tell what hairstyle Da Ji had.

Two days later, Owner also got a haircut.  

Owner often complained that the length of  one centimeter in a hairdresser’s eye was forever far apart from a normal person’s length of one centimeters. He had experienced numerous failed haircuts. Everytime, he would look at himself in the mirror and smile at the hairdresser with a face full of despair: Haha, as long as you’re happy.

Hence, Owner decided to cut his hair himself. Although his bangs looked like it was bitten by dogs every time, he still felt that he had benefited. Afterall, it was getting more and more expensive to cut our hair now. Perming, dyeing, or styling your hair forced you to use your card. He might as well save the money to buy pomelo tea.

The rich owner couldn’t take it anymore and repeatedly sighed, shaking his head. However, he didn’t pull Owner to the salon or invite a professional hairstylist. Instead, he personally helped Owner cut his bangs.

Da Ji and I were both stunned seeing this.  

Though, this time Owner’s bangs looked like it was pecked by chickens

The rich owner who loved chickens to the point of addiction was very satisfied. To him, anything that looked like chickens looked nice.  

For a long period of time afterwards, Owner always smiled brightly, and he worked and lived with infinite courage.


Author’s PS: The side story seems to be scarier than the actual story. Hahahaha. Thank you everyone for liking my poisonous brain pit. Da Jiji, Xiao Jiji, come out and thank everyone for their love!

Da Ji: Ge ge ge

Xiao Ji: Gu gu ji

Alright, the two of you can bow out now~


Footnotes:

[1]Dog food – PDA

[2]Leo Ku – The chickens are calling brother Fake B “古巨鸡” which sounds the same as “古巨基”, Leo Ku, who is a singer.


Previous Chapter Å Table of Content

8+

6 thoughts on “[RXR] Side Story

  1. mizushi says:

    thank you for finishing this crack novel XDD

    2+

  2. Siceraria says:

    Hmmm……. something feels off.
    It’s as if I was reading a completely different novel

    2+

  3. william sevilla says:

    This is absolutely cursed

    1+

  4. squicci says:

    Did I just read about chicken havings sex? lmao

    10+

  5. Sl says:

    Lol thank you.

    1+

  6. MeganError says:

    I dont know what i was reading 😀 help– but it addictive 😂

    2+

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