Chapter 5: His ‘Hubby’s’ Stamina Wasn’t Bad!
Because of being overly grief-stricken, Su Jian didn’t talk to An Yize as they made their way back.
In contrast, An Yize seemed unperturbed this whole time. After they arrived at the hospital, An Yize again picked Su Jian up by the waist and carried him out of the car. He then rolled him to the sickroom, and even making sure to inquire on Su Jian’s discharge time.
The doctor’s judgement was that Su Jian’s operation was successful and he was recovering well. In a few more days, Su Jian could be discharged and return home to rest.
Su Jian started to feel a little panicked.
To tell the truth, he didn’t like the hospital, but compared to being alone with An Yize in their marriage home, he was more than willing to stay in the hospital. At least there were beautiful and gentle little nurses here! Couldn’t he just stay here forever?
Su Jian thought hard of a way to stay in the hospital, but he really didn’t have the courage to break his healing leg again. And so the indecisiveness continued until the discharge date arrived.
An Yize could be considered to be very considerate; he specially brought clothing and shoes for Su Jian. When Su Jian saw that neat stack of women’s clothing, he wished he could fall over dead.
Your mom! Can he wear his hospital gown home? He didn’t want to wear women’s clothing!
But Su Jian knew that this was simply not possible. His current body was literally a female body. Moreover, a top level female body wearing women’s clothing could only be considered the epitome of normalcy. There would only be one person who would feel something was wrong.
Thus, Su Jian could only start dressing with a heart filled with complex emotions. Before another problem made itself known. The lacy panties were something he could endure and put on, but how could he handle the fabled bra? In addition, he had only seen men remove a goddesses bras in adult videos, never put them back on! So, how was he supposed to put them on?
Su Jian held in a mouthful of blood as he examined it for a while. Then, he finally put on the bra. Next was a long one-piece dress. Su Jian expressionlessly put it on without error: Hmph! I, your father, have even put on a bra! How much more does a dress matter?!
After being covered in sweat from the trial of getting dressed, Su Jian finally allowed An Yize that was waiting outside to come in. Then, he despairingly said, “I’m done! Let’s go!”
An Yize looked at him, “Your hair.”
“Ah?” Su Jian followed his gaze and looked down. This was when he realized that his hair was a mess. He sighed sadly, then hastily brushed his hair with the hairbrush he picked up from the bedside table. He suddenly released an unexpected whimper.
When An Yize glance over at him, Su Jian was a little embarrassed. The original owner’s head of long hair was very pretty–very black and long, and the hair quality was equally good. However, Su Jian had been a man for close to thirty years. He had never grown hair this long, so every time he brushed his hair it would become a very tangled. Plus, he really didn’t know how to take care of it. The most he could do was to work hard at brushing it from the scalp down; it was completely unthinkable for him to do something such as style it.
Su Jian originally wanted to cut his hair short after being discharged, as short as possible, but he found out that women’s short hairstyles were even harder to take care of after chatting with the nurses, which had dispelled that idea. After all, compared to the irritation of short hair that needed to have this or that applied, be blow-dried, or be permed, long hair only needed to be brushed smooth, was simple to the extreme. Plus, this hairstyle matched well with Su Jian’s little face. The long hair draping over his shoulders really made Su Jian look like a gentle beauty.
This kind of cute beauty actually married An Yize! Su Jian couldn’t help but be bitter and hateful whenever he looked into the mirror.
An Yize looked at him with his eyebrow slightly raised after hearing him whimpering.
Su Jian thought: What are you looking at?! If one day you, Young Master An, become a woman, you probably wouldn’t be any better off!
Naturally, An Yize alone was the one to pick him up after being discharged from the hospital.
Su Jian couldn’t help but find it odd. Other than An Yize and Su Jian’s colleagues and students, there are no other visitors during his hospital stay. Su Jian’s relatives could be excused because of his marrying in a far off place; a hometown not being in S City would probably make it hard to visit. However, Su Jian remembered An Yize’s family was a family of high status living in S-city. But why didn’t Su Jian see a single visitor from the husband’s family during his hospital stay? Were they really not told or was Su Jian a hated daughter-in-law?
Su Jian silently watched An Yize driving beside him and thought in a gossipy manner: Is this what they call the snobbishness of a wealthy family?
“An” *cough* “Yize”
“Let me ask you a few questions! Where do we live right now?”
Su Jian was silent for a moment. Century World. The old him couldn’t even buy one square of that kind of high-class neighborhood even with a whole years’ worth of salary!
“Ha Ha. Let’s ask a more private matter. Right now… *cough*… How much do you make in a year?
“Then let’s change to a different question. Where do you work right now?”
“…Is it the CMI I’m thinking of?”
Su Jian was silent for another moment. CMI. The company on the top of his wish list of employers after graduating, but he didn’t even get to the interview. He had been eliminated in the first round.
“What’s your current job?”
Su Jian’s eyes suddenly opened wide in shock.
As if he felt the profound disbelief in Su Jian’s gaze, An Yize turned around to look at him, “What?”
Su Jian said woodenly, “Can I ask how old you are this year?”
Su Jian thought: No wonder! This person is older than me by an entire year so this kind of gap is very normal…… LALALALALA. Your mom’s ghost is the only one who would believe this guy being the President of CMI at thirty is normal! I, your father, at twenty-nine am still a low-level IT worker! AH! Table flip! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
Su Jian angrily turned his head. In these times, it could be said that the gap between the haves and have-nots was much too big. This was an actual gory localized version of tall, rich, and handsome vs. deadbeat loser!
Inferiority! Did this gap between people have to be so cutting?! An Yize you’re really unbelievably great, right? Facts have shown that the difference between father Gang and an adoptive father is very important!
“What’s going on again?”
Su Jian calmly inhaled, then smirked. “Nothing much. I didn’t realize that my spouse was so talented. I was thinking about if something happened to you in the future how much I would inherit and felt a little surprised, that’s all.”
After entering the district, he saw a neat row of luxury branded cars that every man dreamed about in the garage. Even though Su Jian still felt a slight sense of phantom limb pain, he felt a lot calmer.
Next Su Jian lost a little of that calm. –What a coincidence! Unexpectedly, the elevator malfunctioned and needed to be fixed.
Su Jian asked, “What floor is your… *cough*… our house on?”
An Yize said drily, “Floor 21.”
Su Jian tactfully shut his mouth.
The property manager sincerely apologized and asked them to wait a while. Then, An Yize asked, “About how long will this take to fix?”
The property manager hesitated. “Ten… Ten minutes.”
Su Jian cautiously asked, “How about we wait?”
An Yize didn’t say anything so Su Jian took it as tacit agreement.
After ten minutes, the property manager wiped his sweat as he apologized, “I’m really sorry. Because of the severity of the malfunction, the elevator will not be in service for the rest of the day.”
Su Jian scratched his head, “This means that we have to climb up twenty-one floors?”
Looking at the nearby An Yize who was silent, yet whose expression darkened, “Twenty-one floors is usually not a big deal, but my current condition…”
Service in a high-class neighborhood was different. The property manager, hearing what was said, immediately said, “We can help!”
Su Jian was struck by a thought. He glanced at An Yize. Cheerfully, he asked the property manager, “In this situation, I can only let someone piggyback me up the stairs. Are you wanting to help piggyback me up?”
Naturally, the property manager looked at An Yize.
But Su Jian didn’t let An Yize answer before he immediately rejected, “No, we can’t possibly. My hubby is obviously right here, why would I want to let another man piggyback me? Besides, my hubby is strong and vigorous. What does climbing twenty-one flights of stairs count as?! Right, hubby?”
Su Jian suddenly felt that the normally difficult to say ‘hubby’ now flowed much easier from his lips. In the end, he dragged out the last syllable in a sweet tone like a little woman with complete trust in her hubby.
Although An Yize remained expressionless, Su Jian who had spent some time with him could tell that he was feeling persecuted, making Su Jian laugh endlessly in his head.
An Yize, you started off stealing my girls, causing me to die an untimely death before marrying a wife. Today, don’t blame me for getting my revenge!
To stop An Yize from refusing, Su Jian put all his effort into his acting. He pulled at An Yize’s sleeve. When An Yize looked over, Su Jian looked up at him with an innocent and sincere expectation. “Hubby! Let’s quickly go home, OK?!”
An Yize’s expression chilled and darkened. He was silent for a moment before he finally emitted a faint ‘en’.
Su Jian immediately lit up with pleasure.
The property manager felt apologetic. “Mr. Mrs. Is there anything we can do to help?”
Su Jian smilingly said, “In a while, just deliver the wheelchair upstairs.”
Then he turned towards An Yize while obediently opening up his arms, “Hubby?”
An Yize looked at him silently for a moment, then squatted down with his back to Su Jian.
With the help of the property manager, Su Jian climbed onto An Yize’s back and completely happily said, “Hubby, let’s go!” He thought for a moment, then laughingly added, “You can do it!”
Su Jian could guarantee that he felt An Yize’s back stiffen.
Thus, with his mood now lifted. Even though he was envious of An Yize’s rather solid, wide back, it felt fulfilling when he thought of his love rival having to piggyback him up twenty-one flights of stairs.
Even though An Yize was carrying a big, live person, his steps remained steady and did not display any signs of fatigue. In contrast, Su Jian who laid on his back felt an unbearably painful pressure on the two lumps of meat on his chest, which, as one would expect, made him squirm.
Just as he was searching for a comfortable position, his received a spank to the bottom. Then, An Yize lightly reprimanded, “Stop moving around!”
Su Jian brain exploded. What just happened? fúck! He. He-He-He was actually spanked by An Yize?!
Su Jian felt humiliated anger, but was afraid if he moved too much An Yize would give him another one. Thus, he could only endure with great effort. Except, the arms holding An Yize’s neck started to tighten.
Sure enough, after a little while, An Yize coughed uncomfortably and lightly reprimanded, “Don’t squeeze your arms so tight!”
Su Jian hatefully glared at the head right in front of his eyes, yet he maintained an innocent tone as he said, “But I’m afraid I’ll fall!”
An Yize was silent. He boosted up the body on his back.
Although Su Jian had a slim figure, it was still the weight of an adult. After piggybacking this body for a few floors, An Yize’s breathing slowly became labored.
Su Jian heard it in his ear, lifting his spirits. Yet, he said in an enthusiastic tone, “Hubby, are you bored? Why don’t we play some brain games?!”
Without waiting for An Yize’s response, he cheerfully started.
“A 30% done steak and a 50% done steak met on the street, but they didn’t greet each other. Why do you think this happened?”
An Yize did not respond. Su Jian wasn’t angry and directly answered, “Because they’re not familiar with each other! Ha Ha Ha! Isn’t it great?” 
An Yize, “……”
“Okay. Let me give you another riddle! There were two people who fell into a pit. One died, and one lived. The dead person was called “Living”, what’s the person who lived called?”
An Yize, “……”
Su Jian hit An Yize on the head, “Come! Quickly answer, dear!”
An Yize’s deep voice held a hint of anger, “If you keep asking, I’ll throw you down.”
Su Jian embarrassedly pulled his hand back. “It’s okay if you can’t think of the answer! Let me just tell you the answer. Of course, the living person called, ‘Help me!’”
A cold gust of wind blew through the empty staircase.
An Yize continued to silently climb up the stairs. Su Jian lazily sprawled on his back. He was very bored so, after remaining silent for a moment, he opened his mouth again.
“How about we tell jokes! One day, Mung Bean broke up with his girlfriend so he cried and cried. He sorrowfully cried until……. he sprouted.”
“Not funny? Then how about another one. One day, a cat…”
Hearing the coldness in his voice, Su Jian obediently shut his mouth. With the ensuing silence, he immediately heard An Yize’s laborious breathing that couldn’t be controlled anymore.
Oh! How many floors has he climbed? It seems as if we’ve passed ten floors? It seems that his “hubby’s stamina was pretty good! Su Jian grinned maliciously. From behind An Yize where he couldn’t be seen, but he had to pretend to show his care for him. “Hubby, are you tired? How about I sing a song to give you strength?!”
An Yize still wasn’t able to stop him in time so Su Jian started to sing. In high spirits, he sang with a lively tone–all evidence of his good mood.
An Yize carefully placed Su Jian on the steps. When he turned around, Su Jian saw a bead of sweat slide down the side of An Yize’s angry face.
Su Jian secretly smiled. An Yize. Ah, An Yize. After climbing up twelve floors, you’re really dying, right?
Just when Su Jian was feeling carefree, An Yize suddenly glared at him and said, “From now on, you’re not allowed to make a sound!”
Su Jian: “……”
After resting a while, Su Jian climbed onto An Yize’s back again; he really didn’t make a peep.
As a result, there was only the sound of An Yize’s footsteps echoing in the empty stairwell.
Su Jian thought: An Yize’s gait is really steady…
Thus, Su Jian listened to this stable and steady footstep’s rhythm and slowly fell asleep.
Father Gang refers to Li Gang. This refers to an incident where Li Qiming hit 2 pedestrians with his car and shouted out, “Go ahead, sue me if you dare. My dad is Li Gang.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Li_Gang_incident; father Gang sounds similar to gan die (adoptive father) so this is a pun on words
熟 is how well-done something is as well as how familiar you are with someone.
This refers to ‘cold’ jokes. In the US, we tend to call these dad-jokes which usually include puns.