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Chapter 12: Stubbornly Tangled


TL: Resonance

  我听到了脚步声,在深夜的医院里如此鲜明。

I heard footsteps. It was especially clear late at night in the hospital.

  我禁不住心跳加速,真是没用,十年,天天抬头不见低头见,想到他怎么还是会紧张呢。

My heart couldn’t help but speed up. I was hopeless. It had already been ten years. We have seen each other so many times, why was I still so nervous whenever I thought about him?

  我还在纠结,门被撞开,我的洛予辰站在门口,眼睛直勾勾地看着我,气喘吁吁。

I was still feeling bewildered when the door violently opened. My Luo Yuchen stood outside the door, staring straight at me while panting.

  他看着我,我看着他,不过是半年的时间,不过几米的距离,却恍如隔世。

We looked at each other. It had only been half a year. We were just a few meters apart, yet many things have changed, and it felt like a  lifetime had passed.

  我想笑,可是脸部太僵硬,竟然无法操纵自如。

I wanted to smile, but my facial muscles were too stiff. I wasn’t able to control them well.

  我只能贪心地看着他。

I could only stare at him greedily.

  他瘦了好多,已经有些形销骨立,但是眼睛亮亮的,看着我的时候是深深的思念和兴奋的狂喜。

He hads thinned down a lot, some of his bones were visible through his skin. Nevertheless, his eyes were bright, full of yearning and joy as he looked at me.

  我以为他会冲我扑过来抱住我,然而他只是站在门口,没有敢再向前踏一步。

I thought that he would rush forward to hug me. However, he only stood outside the door, not daring to step forward.

  他在看我,眼睛不眨地看着我,匪夷所思地踌躇着迟疑着。

He looked at me unblinkingly, his head full of thoughts as he hesitated coming in.

  然后我发现他竟然在害怕,他竟然在微微发抖,他看着我,努力地想从我的表情里琢磨出来一丝讯息。

Then, I realised that he was actually afraid. He was slightly trembling. He looked at me, trying very hard to read something through my expression.

  在我没有明确示意之前,他居然可怜兮兮地不敢过来……

He actually didn’t dare to come over before receiving a clear signal from me… 

  这哪里是那个一向骄傲一向自大一向吃定我的洛予辰啊,我笑了。

I laughed. Where is the proud and arrogant Luo Yuchen who always had me in his grasp?

  我已经不是那个半年前的我,而就算仍然是那个半年前的我,又怎么可能记恨他、不理他。

I’m no longer the me from half a year ago. Even if I still was, how could I possibly hate or ignore him?

  他根本就是死死扎根在我生命中,长在肉里融在血里,什么时候连根拔了,我也就被带着一起死了。

He’s basically firmly rooted in my life, growing on my flesh and fused with my blood. If he was pulled out, I will die along with him.

  已经错过了那么多那么多,差一点点就无法挽回。

We have already missed out so much, we were so close to being irrecoverable.

  这个笨蛋居然还有闲心在那里畏首畏尾,战战兢兢。

Yet, this idiot still has the leisure to feel afraid and hesitant.

  这种时候还犹豫什么。

Why is he still hesitating at a time like this?

  洛予辰从来不能做一件让我痛快的事情。

Luo Yuchen can never do something that makes me satisfied.

  怎么办,就被我摊着了,我只好认命。

What else can I do? I can only submit to fate and take up this responsibility.

  洛予辰还看着我,脸上的表情是我从来没有见过的复杂,混合着思念和委屈,犹疑和悲伤。

Luo Yuchen was still looking at me with an expression I’ve never seen before. His expression looked perplexed, combined with yearning, grievance, hesitation and sorrow.

  我笑了,我向他张开双手。

I smiled and opened my arms towards him.

  他仍然没有像我想象一般飞奔过来,而是有些跌跌撞撞走过来,好像他突然不会走路了一样如笨企鹅一般摇摇晃晃。

Despite that, he still didn’t rush towards me like I imagined. Instead, he walked towards me unsteadily. As if he had forgotten how to walk, he stumbled over like a penguin.

  几米路,他走了好几秒,终于停在我床前,伸手想摸我,却又瑟瑟缩缩。

It was only a few meters of distance, but he took a good amount of time before finally stopping before my bed. He stretched out his hand wanting to touch me but shrank back again.

  我立刻心疼了,他是怕摸不到,怕像上次那样我又突然化成灰消失了?

Immediately, my heart ached. Was he afraid that he wouldn’t be able to touch me? That I would disappear into nothingness like before?

  不会的,再也不会了。

I won’t. Never again.

  我紧紧抓住他的手,拉着它贴到我的颈子上。

I grabbed onto his hand tightly and pulled it towards my neck.

  感觉到了么?温热的,为你而跳动的脉搏。

Can you feel it? It’s warm with a pulse that is beating for you.

  洛予辰,我很想你。

Luo Yuchen, I miss you so much.

  奇怪吧,明明就一直在你身边,但是好想你。

It’s strange isn’t it? I have been by your side all this while. Yet, I still miss you very much.

  他的手指冰凉,指尖轻颤。

His fingers were ice cold and trembling.

  我觉得我能温暖它们。从现在到很远很远的将来,都能。

I feel that I can warm them up, from now on, till the far, far future.

  然后我把他拉过来,狠狠地抱了。

Then, I pulled him over and hugged him tightly.

  虽然我的身体因为半年没有运动,还是不太像自己的,但是抱住他还是没有问题的。

Although my body was still difficult to control after not moving for half a year, there is still no problem hugging him.

  他终于肯软下来抱着我,拼命地叫我的名字。

He was finally willing to relax and hug me as he called my name desperately.

  “肖恒肖恒肖恒肖恒肖恒……”

“Xiao Heng, Xiao Heng, Xiao Heng, Xiao Heng…”

  他毕竟是歌手,声音很好听,居然把我那个俗不拉叽的名字叫得有如天籁一般。

He is a singer after all… His voice is so pleasant to hear, my extremely common name sounded so heavenly with his voice.

  我也一声一声地傻傻回应着。

I also foolishly replied to all of his calls.

  能抱紧的温度,能握紧的双手,我的洛予辰。

It’s the warmth that I can hug and the two hands that I can grasp. My Luo Yuchen.

  太好了,真的太好了。

It’s wonderful. It’s so wonderful.

  我玩弄着他长到耳际的发丝,被他抱得紧到喘不过气来。

I twiddled with his hair that reached his ears. I was hugged very strongly by him it was becoming difficult to breath.

  我正在享受这个紧得过头的拥抱,他突然放了手,改成抓小鸡一样抓住我,红着眼睛恶狠狠地问:“你不会又突然消失不见了吧?”

I was enjoying this extremely tight hug when he suddenly let go. Instead, he grabbed me as if grasping a chicken. With reddened eyes, he asked me fiercely, “You won’t disappear again suddenly would you?”

  我摇头,拼命摇头。

I shook my head desperately.

  他记得,他真的全记得。

He remembered. He remembered everything.

  我一定让他很痛苦,我在他面前消失,我真的很歉疚,真不知道他后来的日子怎么撑过来的。

I must have made him suffer after disappearing right before him. I feel very remorseful. I have no idea how he lived through after that day.

  我看着他清瘦憔悴了许多的面容,一阵心疼。

My heart ached seeing his languished face which became thinner.

  他并不相信我,还是抓着我,瞪着我上上下下看了半天,好像在验货一般看他的肖恒有没有哪里少了一块或者缺了一角。

He didn’t believe me and continued holding onto me. He studied me from top to bottom, as if checking a merchandise for any missing corner.

  我不禁笑了,我说:“洛予辰是傻瓜。”

I couldn’t help but laugh, saying, “Luo Yuchen is a fool.”

  多么没营养啊,这种时候好听的情话一大堆,我怎么偏偏挑了最没内涵的。

What a useless thing to say. There are so many wonderful love words to say at a moment like this, why did I pick the most tasteless one?

  “对,我傻。”洛予辰反而配合,低着头承认。

“Yes, I’m foolish.” On the contrary, Luo Yuchen went along with me and admitted with a lowered head.

  一时无语。

A moment of silence.

  他抓得我肩膀有点酸痛了,我把他的手拿下来握在我手里。

My shoulders were starting to hurt from his grabbing, so I took his hands down and held them in my hands.

  突然我注意到他的手腕上竟然狰狞着横七竖八的伤痕。

Then, I noticed that his wrist had a bunch of hideous scars.

  我愣了,这双手我还不熟悉,我欣赏了供奉了顶礼膜拜了整整十年的手,一直是骨节分明雪白干净,根本没有一丝瑕疵。

I was stunned. How can I not be familiar with this pair of hands? The hands that I have admired for the past ten years had always been slim and clean white without a single blemish.

  洛予辰不是一个好主人,什么好东西到他手里全落得暴殄天物的下场。

Luo Yuchen wasn’t a good owner. Every good thing that land in his hands all end up greatly damaged.

  现在突然多了几道疤,把我认认真真养了好久的东西毁得彻底。

The scars that have suddenly appeared thoroughly destroyed the thing I have been meticulously taking care of for so long.

  “这是怎么回事?”我心疼地吼。

“What are these?” I bellowed with heartache.

  不要是我想的那样,不要是我想的那样……

Please don’t let it be what I think it is. Please don’t let it be what I think it is… 

  我左手手腕上只有一道伤痕,六个月了,虽然难看,现在已经浅浅的。

I only have one scar on my left wrist. Although it was ugly, it has already been six months and only a light scar could be seen.

  而他手腕上,疤痕还险恶地凸起着。

However, the scar on his wrist is still protruding sinisterly.

  我不相信,不会是我想的那样,我的洛予辰才不是会那么傻好不好……

I don’t believe. It won’t be what I think it is. My Luo Yuchen isn’t so foolish… 

  他不说话,只是紧紧埋头在我肩窝里,什么都不管。

He didn’t say anything. All he did was bury his head onto my shoulders and ignored everything.

  我看向方写忆,他在我正面,洛予辰背后,用右手食指在左手手腕上做了一个切割的动作。

I looked towards Fang Xieyi. I was facing him directly while Luo Yuchen’s back was facing him. Using his right index finger, Fang Xieyi did a cutting motion on his left wrist.

  我不禁失声叫了出来,我抱着洛予辰,死紧死紧。

I cried out involuntarily and hugged Luo Yuchen tightly.

  “洛予辰,你干了什么?”

“Luo Yuchen, what did you do?”

  洛予辰只是更加紧地把我搂住,不抬头。

Luo Yuchen hugged me back tighter without raising his head.

  我暴力地推开他,拿起他的手腕,他仍旧眼睛通红,倔强地别过脸。

I pushed him away forcefully and held up his wrist. His eyes were still red as he looked away stubbornly.

  他没哭,一向那么能硬撑。

He didn’t cry, always being able to force himself to act strong.

  那么多伤,是多少次?

There are so many scars. Just how many times did he do it?

  “你为了我要伤害你自己?”

“You hurt yourself because of me?”

  这么多道痕迹,如果死了呢?如果我醒过来发现他却死了呢?是要上演罗密欧与朱丽叶这么老掉牙的戏码吗?

There are so many scars. What if you died? What if I woke up and end up finding you dead? Are we going to reenact an old play like Romeo and Juliet?

  那样凄美却那样可怕,那样认真却那样荒唐。

It’s so beautiful yet scary, serious yet absurd.

  后怕,如同粘人的蜘蛛网铺天盖地地席卷而来,层层缠绕着我,无法呼吸。

Fear overwhelmed me like a spider web entangling around me, making me unable to breathe.

  “洛予辰,你怎么可以这样做!”我冲他吼。

“Luo Yuchen, how could you do this!” I bellowed at him.

  你怎么可以这样做,你对我最重视的最珍惜的洛予辰做了什么。

How could you do this. What have you done to my most important and cherished Luo Yuchen?

  “你可以做我为什么不可以做!”他终于正视我,比我还要凶恶还要不平,比我还要委屈还要害怕:“为什么你死了我还要活着!”

“Why can’t I do it when you can!” He finally looked straight at me. Feeling more injustice and fear than me, he replied fiercer than I did, “Why should I live on when you’re dead!”

  这是什么鬼道理,为什么我死了你就不能活着?

What kind of logic is this? Why can’t you live on when I’m dead?

  我从冰凉的湖里救你可不是为了让你后来自杀来玩命的!

I didn’t save you from that ice cold lake for you to suicide afterwards!

  我当然知道你会伤心你会难过你会后悔,你会一直记得那个死掉的我。

Of course I knew that you would feel hurt, sad and regretful. You will always remember me who have died.

  但是我救你,可能自私,还是想要你好好的,快快乐乐地活着……

However, although it may be selfish of me, I saved you hoping that you will live well and happy… 

  但我已经没有办法再责备他。

Nevertheless, I can no longer reproach him.

  我知道,此时再谴责洛予辰什么都没用,他觉得他没错,他就会一直认为他没错。他觉得我不在了他也不用留着,他也会一直这样坚持。

I know it is useless trying to criticize Luo Yuchen now. Once he feels that he is not wrong, he will keep on feeling this way. He feels that he doesn’t need to live on if I’m not around, and he will keep on feeling so.

  洛予辰从来都是这么固执的啊……

Luo Yuchen have always been so stubborn… 

  我没有办法改正他,我只有忍受他。忍受他的固执、他的坚持、他的外刚内弱。

I’m not able to correct him. I can only bear with him, bear with his stubbornness, persistence and his nature to mask his inner vulnerability with a tough shell.

  真是让人又生气又心疼又无奈的人。

He’s really someone who make someone feel angry, distressed and helpless.

  幸好,还没有铸成大错。

Fortunately, it didn’t result in a grievous mistake.

  幸好,上天真的发了慈悲,给了我们一次重来的机会,他还在我怀里,还能笑还能哭,还有呼吸还有心跳。

Fortunately, heaven decided to have mercy on us and gave us another chance to restart. He is still in my embrace, he can still laugh and cry, he is still breathing and his heart is still beating.

  多么,多么不容易……

It was so difficult to achieve… 

  就让他冷酷、傲慢、顽固、死心眼下去吧。

Let him continue being cold, arrogant and stubborn.

  反正我喜欢他的时候,他就已经非常冷酷、傲慢、顽固、死心眼。

Anyway, he has always been this way when I liked him.

  能够重新再来,我已经得到了最奢侈的。

It’s already a luxury that I can restart.

  我虽然一直特别贪心,现在也非常满足了。

I have always been very greedy, but I’m very satisfied now.

  我拉拉他的袖子,他终于还是强势过我,我服软了,他也就没有继续嚣张,乖乖地继续把头埋到我肩膀里。

I pulled his sleeve. In the end, he still won me. Seeing me back down, he also stopped being haughty. He continued burying his head on my shoulders obediently.

  “洛予辰,我好想你。”我在他耳边轻轻低语:“我一直很想你,还有,我爱你……”

“Luo Yuchen, I missed you so much.” I spoke softly into his ears, “I miss you. And, I love you…”

  多么不公平啊,这句话一直都是我在说。

How unfair. It has always been me saying this sentence.

  以前是我说,他不愿意理我。

It was me who said it last time, but he ignored me.

  现在还是我说,他哽咽地太厉害没有办法开口。

Now, it was still me who was saying it. However, he was sobbing too much he couldn’t say it.

  突然觉得这下赔大了,那么善良地说给他听,到头来肯定又被吃定了。

I suddenly felt that I’m losing too much in this. I’m saying it so kindly to him. In the end, I’m going to end up in the palm of his hand again.

  跟着洛予辰,我真是栽了。

I’m really making a loss being with Luo Yuchen.

  算了,今后的时日还长,总要逼他反过来跟我说个几千几万遍的。

Forget it. There’s still a long time. I will force him to say it back to me thousands of times.

  我觉得我的实力还是有所提升的,对付洛予辰可以慢慢来,今天先放过他吧。

I feel that I’m much better than before. I can deal with Luo Yuchen slowly. I will let him off for today.

  第二天早晨听闻消息的小路做了爱心早餐带来的时候,洛予辰正在喂我他刚刚买回来的热包子,两人两看两相厌地瞪了好久,小路一把抢走洛予辰的包子,鄙夷道:“肖恒才刚醒,你就让他吃这种垃圾食品,你也忒没良心了。”

The next day, Luo Yuchen was feeding me hot buns he just bought when Xiao Lu who heard the news came over with the breakfast he made with love. The two of them stared at each other with hatred for a long while before Xiao Lu snatched away the bun in Luo Yuchen’s hand, scorning, “Xiao Heng has just woken up and you’re already feeding him with junk food. How inconsiderate.”

  然后路美人亲自到我面前笑容灿烂地打开他的爱心便当:“我煮了营养早餐哦,还清晨起来专门煲了汤,快点趁热尝一尝。”

Then, beauty Lu came before me and opened the breakfast he made with a bright smile, saying, “I have cooked you a nutritious breakfast and even woke up early in the morning to brew you soup. Try them while they are still warm.”

  洛予辰愣愣地看了看自己被抢走的包子,正想发作,再看看小路色香味俱全的早点,突然像被扎破的气球般泄了气,坐在一边的椅子上冷着脸不说话。

Luo Yuchen stared blankly at the bun that was snatched away from him. He was about to rage but shrank back like a deflated balloon after he saw the appetizing breakfast made by Xiao Lu. He sat on a chair by the side with a cold face and didn’t say anything.

  “看什么看,”小路受到洛予辰怨念的眼神的注目礼,高调地白了他一眼:“你能做出来吗?”

“What are you looking at?” Feeling Luo Yuchen’s resentful stare, Xiao Lu rolled his eyes imposingly and said, “Are you able to make it?”

  一盒精心准备媲美五星级饭店水准的饭菜,生活基本不能自理的洛予辰?我看看两者,对比强烈得都我想笑了。

The box of meal was carefully prepared and was comparable to five-star restaurant standards. How is it possible for Luo Yuchen who can barely take care of himself to prepare it? The disparity between the two of them made me feel like laughing.

  “不会做吧,”小路冷笑,拿着勺子不顾我坚持我能自己能吃的动作,笑眯眯地给我喂饭:“在这个世界上,不会做饭的男人根本不是好男人,以后喂肖恒吃饭的事情就是我的事情了。”

“I bet you can’t make it.” Xiao Lu sneered. Ignoring my actions insisting that I can eat by myself, he held the spoon and started feeding me with a smile, saying, “In this world, a man that can’t cook isn’t a good man. In the future, I’m in charge of feeding Xiao Heng.”

  他说着,拿着勺子,对我气得咬牙切齿的洛予辰晃了晃,然后又转向我,一副大爱心的笑容:“怎么样啊肖恒,还是我比较好吧,什么时候抛弃他啊,我做一号替补哦……”

Saying so, he took the spoon and waved it before Luo Yuchen who was grinding his teeth in anger. Then, he looked back at me and said with a loving smile, “What do you think Xiao Heng? I’m better right? When will you abandon him? I will be your substitute one…”

  洛予辰明显受到了重大的刺激,但是又无法反驳,气鼓鼓地磨了许久的牙恨恨说:“不就是做饭么?我不会学么?”

Luo Yuchen has obviously received a huge blow but was unable to retort. He who has been grinding his teeth for a long while in anger said hatefully, “Isn’t it just cooking? I can learn.”

  小路轻蔑地看了他一眼,露出了恶毒的笑容,看来讽刺的话语马上就要如滔滔江水绵延不绝。

Xiao Lu gave him a disdainful glance and showed a malicious smile. Sarcastic words are about to flow out from his mouth like an unending river.

  小路没事不经常恶毒地讽刺别人,不过他一旦要讽刺了,经常能用五国以上语言把一个人骂得后悔出生在这个世界上。

Xiao Lu usually wouldn’t mock others. However, once he wants to, he can use more than five languages to scold the person to the point the person regret being born.

  正在这时方写忆一副闲适出现在门口,小路余光瞟到他突然转移了战火,放下早餐,吼道:“方写忆,你还敢来。”

At this moment, Fang Xieyi appeared leisurely outside the door. When Xiao Lu’s sight fell on him, he changed his line of fire. Putting down the breakfast box, he bellowed, “Fang Xieyi, you still dared to come.”

  是哦,方写忆,你竟然还敢来。

Right. Fang Xieyi, you still dared to come.

  我和洛予辰昨晚在缠绵(纯属缠绵,不要往不该想的地方想,医院是公共场所)之后,当然忘不了审问了罪魁祸首方写忆犯下的血的罪状,可惜小路没来及参加第一轮审问,现在知道被骗了,被开了那么大的不好笑的玩笑,看到方写忆,当然是摩拳擦掌。

After Luo Yuchen and my entanglement last night (A pure and simple one, do not think about the wrong things. Hospital is a public space), we didn’t forget to question the main culprit Fang Xieyi about his heinous crimes. Unfortunately, Xiao Lu couldn’t make it to the first round of questioning. Now that Xiao Lu knew he had been tricked with such an unfunny joke, he is ready for a fight when he saw Fang Xieyi.

  我看着方狐狸夺门而出落荒而逃,心里想着恶有恶报自做孽不可活。

Seeing fox Fang fleeing frantically out of the door, I thought in my heart that an evil person will have their retribution and can never escape from the crimes they have committed.

  昨晚后半夜我知道了在我从洛予辰身边离开后,安安稳稳地睡着的一个月发生了什么。

On the later half of last night, I learned about what happened during the one month I was sleeping after leaving Luo Yuchen.

  我那晚把洛予辰从湖里捞上来之后突然消失,给他打击很大,他不能相信再去堵了方写忆问的时候,方写忆还是跟他说我死了。

The blow Luo Yuchen received was huge when I suddenly disappeared after saving him from the lake that night. Unable to believe what he saw, he went to question Fang Xieyi again. However, Fang Xieyi still told him that I was dead.

  洛予辰说死了的话他看到的是什么,方写忆阴森一笑说那应该就是鬼魂吧,你要不要去他墓地上上香。

Luo Yuchen asked what it is that he saw if I was dead, in which Fang Xieyi replied with a gloomy smile that it was probably my spirit and asked if Luo Yuchen wanted to visit my grave to pray.

  亲眼所见,终于被证实了的不愿意相信却不得不相信的事情,洛予辰想不开,竟然跟着用同样的方法做傻事。

After seeing it for himself and confirming the fact he didn’t want to but had to believe in, Luo Yuchen couldn’t take it and did the same foolish thing as me.

  幸好夏明修突然回去拿东西发现得早。

Fortunately, Xia Mingxiu went back to take something and found him in time.

  后来在医院里,洛予辰基本是疯了,又不停地做了几次同样的事情。

Afterwards, Luo Yuchen was basically crazy when he was in the hospital and continued doing the same thing again.

  我听到这里不能想象当时的凄惨场景,只能紧紧搂着洛予辰。

As I listened, I didn’t dare imagine the despairing scene. I only hugged Luo Yuchen tighter.

  洛予辰自杀方写忆当然很快就会知道,他最后也不想玩出人命,终于告诉了洛予辰我还活着,只是还没有醒的真相。

Of course, Fang Xieyi quickly learned about the fact that Luo Yuchen attempted suicide. Not wanting to lose a life, he ultimately told Luo Yuchen that I was still alive but not yet awake.

  我听完方写忆的这些轻描淡写,看着洛予辰的伤痕和憔悴,昨晚在前半夜被我有一个如此无私疼我的哥哥感动之后,又差点没在后半夜干出谋杀亲兄的事情来。

I listened to Fang Xieyi’s casual explanation of what happened and looked at Luo Yuchen’s scars and haggard appearance. I was feeling very moved in the first half of the night for having such a selfless brother who dotes on me. However, I was so close to murdering my brother in the later half of the night.

  方写忆也知道做得过分了一点,就昂着头任我数落了大半夜,不过根本没有任何成效,因为他不仅没有承认错误,还仍然不停地挑拨离间,说要是洛予辰曾经不是那么负心绝情,我也不会自杀,我要是不会自杀,他也不会顺便撒谎,洛予辰要不是突然良心发现,也不会做傻事。总之,他总结,整件事情因洛予辰而起,因洛予辰而结,全是洛予辰造的孽,他只是在其中顺应历史潮流推波助澜而已。

Fang Xieyi also knew that he had gone overboard, so let me reproach him for the whole night. However, it was completely meaningless. Not only did he not admit to his mistake, he continued sowing discord. He argued that if Luo Yuchen wasn’t so heartless before, I wouldn’t have suicided anyway. If I didn’t suicide, he wouldn’t have went with the flow and lied. If Luo Yuchen hadn’t suddenly realised his own mistakes, he wouldn’t have done that foolish act. All in all, he concluded that everything started and ended because of Luo Yuchen, it was all Luo Yuchen’s retribution. He was only going along with the flow and pushing things along. 

  我已经在他滔滔不绝期间磨好了杀狐狸刀做好了大义灭亲的准备,不过这次倒是洛予辰宽大,拉着我一个劲地说算了算了。

I have already finished sharpening the knife used for killing the fox and ready to purge all evil regardless of family amidst Fang Xieyi’s endless talking. This time however, it was Luo Yuchen who was magnanimous and asked me to let it go.

  现在,我宽大的洛美人正坐在我面前,正在犹豫着是要继续给我喂他的包子,还是喂别人做的营养早餐。

Right now, the magnanimous beauty Luo was sitting in front of me, hesitating whether to continue feeding me the bun he bought or the nutritious breakfast made by someone else.

  他掂量来掂量去,踌躇再三,还是气鼓鼓地选了小路的早餐,喂我一点一点吃了。

He thought over again and again. In the end, he frustratedly chose the breakfast made by Xiao Lu and started feeding me slowly.

  等我吃完了,他还是低着头生闷气,样子太可爱,让我忍不住凑过去偷香了一口。

He was still feeling frustrated with his head lowered even after I finished eating. He looked so cute, I couldn’t help but went closer for a kiss.

  可惜效果不显著,没能把他从情绪低落中缓解出来。

Unfortunately, it wasn’t effective in relieving him from his depressed mood.

  “想什么呢?”我看着他有些阴沉的脸色,伸手把他的头发揉成乱草。

“What are you thinking about?” I stretched out my hand and rubbed his head into a bird nest after seeing his gloomy expression.

  “那晚……确实是你吧……”他终于低低问道,手上握拳指节泛白:“把我从湖里拉上来的那个……”

Finally, he asked softly, “It was you that night… right? The one who pulled me out of the lake…” His knuckles were turning white from him clenching his fist. 

  我不知道怎么回答,这个东西本来就太离奇,若非亲身经历我自己也不能信,于是只能试探着问:“你信吗?”

I didn’t know how to answer. This kind of thing is very bizarre. If I hadn’t experienced it myself, I wouldn’t have believed in such things either. Thus, I tried sounding him out, “Do you believe?”

  “那是什么?幽灵吗?”我没想到洛予辰就突然从椅子上跳了起来,用力抓着我的肩膀,语气好像有点恐惧似的。

“What is that? Your spirit?” Unexpectedly, Luo Yuchen jumped up from his chair and grabbed my shoulders strongly, soundly a little fearful.

  我不知道该怎么说,洛予辰是会害怕幽灵的么?

I don’t know what to say. Is Luo Yuchen scared of spirits?

  他看着我的默认,突然跌坐会椅子里,然后呵呵笑了:“你说我怎么不栽在你手里?你怨念强到可以躺在那里就出窍去做幽灵的地步……”

Seeing my silent acknowledgement, he fell back on his chair. Then, he laughed and said, “Why is my life not in your hands? Your resentment is so strong your spirit came out of your body…”

  他的声音是在笑,表情却差点没哭出来。

He sounded like he is laughing, but he looked like he was about to cry.

  我也知道这不是什么可笑的事情,我执念深到这种地步,吓着洛予辰了。

I also knew this wasn’t something funny. My deep obsession to such a point has frightened Luo Yuchen.

  洛予辰很快笑完,又重新站起来抓着我阴沉地说:“以后,不准你这么想着我,不准你这么喜欢我,不准你觉得我是最重要的。”

Very quickly, Luo Yuchen stopped laughing. He stood up and grabbed me again, saying gloomily, “Next time, you’re not allowed to miss me so much. You’re not allowed to like me so much. You’re not allowed to think that I’m the most important.”

  怎么又不准我喜欢他了?

Why is he not allowing me to like him again?

  我实在没明白过来他想表达什么,只能呆呆地说实话:“可是……我已经养成习惯了……”

I have no idea what he was trying to bring across, so I confessed blankly, “But… it has already become a habit…”

  洛予辰听了这话显然分外无力。

Luo Yuchen felt especially helpless when he heard me.

  “我就是不准!”然而他仍然坚持了,他几乎是气急败坏地吼,又是以前那个我熟悉万分的对着我只会采取暴力手段的洛予辰。

“You’re not allowed to!” Nevertheless, he was still insistent with his point. He shouted in exasperation, looking similar to the Luo Yuchen I’m extremely familiar with in the past who only knew how to resort to violence when it comes to me.

  “你干什么!”小路刚好从门口进来,见状还能怎么认为,立刻风风火火闯进来一副勇者斗恶龙的架势推开洛予辰,把我保护在后面。

“What are you doing!” Coincidentally, Xiao Lu came in through the door. What else could he think of when he saw this scene? He rushed in immediately and pushed Luo Yuchen aside, looking like a hero ready to fight the evil dragon and kept me behind himself protectively.

  洛予辰被推到墙边,一脸我无法形容的凶恶混杂着委屈的表情。

Luo Yuchen was pushed aside towards the wall, his expression an indescribable mix of viciousness and injustice.

  我突然明白过来,他的意思是,我不能在为了他,不珍惜自己。

I suddenly understood what he meant. He wanted me to stop neglecting myself because of him.

  这就是他一大堆让人搞不清楚的“不准”的意思。

This was what he meant with all his confusing “not allowed”.

  他跟我就是不大会表达感情,连好好的话都还是要吼,不认真听听不明白。

Both him and I are not good at expressing our feelings, even a normal conversation requires shouting. If we don’t listen intently, we wouldn’t understand.

  他是怕了,他被我突然的决绝,被我的不要命彻底搞怕了。

He was afraid. He was thoroughly frightened by my resolution and me not cherishing my life.

  “方写忆,你说这家伙悔改了,我怎么没看出来?”小路气势汹汹,转头问靠在门边发型和衣衫都略微不整的方写忆:“我才一眼没看到,他又欺负肖恒!”

“Fang Xieyi, you said that this fellow has repented. Why doesn’t it seem so to me?” Xiao Lu was very hostile. He looked towards Fang Xieyi who was leaning on the door with messed up hair and clothing and said, “I looked away for a second and he is bullying Xiao Heng again!”

  洛予辰欲言又止,不安地看着我。

Not knowing how to explain himself, Luo Yuchen looked at me uneasily.

  看什么看?我知道你是关心我才那么说的,又不会冤枉你。

What are you looking at? I know you said it out of concern. I won’t blame you unjustly.

  别那一副样子委屈得跟小媳妇似的。

Don’t look so wronged like a little wife.

  我就记得我拉拉小路笑着说算了算了。

All I remembered was me pulling Xiao Lu lightly with a smile, asking him to let it go.

  然后我就突然什么也不知道了。

Then, I don’t know what happened.


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3 thoughts on “[LLBN] Chapter 12: Stubbornly Tangled

  1. hazelgrace001 says:

    Why did the events turn so absurdly!!!
    Though many many thanks to the translator for taking out the time to translate the long awaited chapter…And I’ll be waiting for the next one too☺️

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    • SnowTime says:

      They are all out lol.

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  2. Navleu says:

    He’s going to forgive the Scum Just like that?! That’s too soft of a punishment. He Just suffered one month. Xiao Heng suffered for a decade!

    Oh, well…

    Thanks for the chapter!

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