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Chapter 3: Hugging the Correct Thigh is the Most Important!

“To survive in the human world, the most important thing is to find a good target! (A/N: Besides critical matters, Budong and the tabby cat’s dialog will be changed into the human language from now on.)” The tabby cat assumed an attitude as if he was a model for others. I was very familiar with this, since whenever Master would teach me, he would assume this attitude during class.

“A good target?” I used a pure and innocent gaze to look at the human male who was making me drool with his roasted fish, and pointed at him, asking, “He’s not a good target? He even has a roasted fish in his hands!”

The tabby cat dipped his head, a large cloud of unknown dark matter seemed to gather, lingering behind him.

“You… are you from the countryside?” I wasn’t sure why, but the tabby cat had begun to look at me with pity and haughtiness in his gaze. Of course, the pity was for me, while the haughty was for himself.

“No! I came from Buzhi Mountain!” Although I didn’t know the countryside it was speaking of, it definitely wasn’t a good place! I, this cat from a famous family, could not lose face for my Master or others!

“Buzhi Mountain? What kind of place is that?” The tabby cat’s head was full of question marks. Humph, such an ordinary mortal cat, how could it know about the Immortal and beautiful Buzhi Mountain!

“Forget it… Places I’ve never heard of are all just small places without much reputation.” The tabby cat said with plenty of pride, “No matter what you say, I am still Yucheng’s most knowledgeable, experienced, and learned cat!”

“Really?” So it actually was really great. However, I didn’t say anything because five hundred years ago, I heard my Master talk about a red cat that had once appeared in the Immortal Realm. Smart and brave, courageous and moral, it was extremely strong! Not only had it defeated the Black Hearted Tiger King in the Immortal Realm, it even made the Jade Hare fall in love with it at first sight! Yep, if I had the chance, I really wanted to meet that red cat!

“Hey~ Pay attention! If you want to survive in the human world, then you have to practice in order to develop a pair of keen eyes!” While the tabby cat mocked me, it walked toward the human male with the roasted fish.

“Oh! Don’t tell me you practiced some kind of bewitching eye spell? I could never practice those types. Master said that it was because I was too mischievous. Since I can’t calm my heart down, I can’t learn them!” I looked at the tabby cat with eyes full of worship.

“Bewitching eye? What is that? Listen well, the biggest mistake you made earlier was picking this guy!” The tabby cat used its claws to point at the human who was currently grilling fish, then walked past him without hesitation. He didn’t even glance at the grilled fish in his hand!

After that, the tabby cat went over to a table where some people sat, two large and one small. One guy and two girls, a total of three people. Additionally, a tenderly roasted and exceptionally alluring grilled fish was on their table!

“Meow~~” The tabby cat first coyly cried to the young female human. Che, making a coy sound is something all cats can do, this guy’s ability is far from mine!

But what I didn’t expect was that after crying out like this, that guy didn’t get chased away! Instead, he grabbed the attention of the young female human.

“Eh? Mama, a cat!” The young female human seemed to be very happy, as she used a finger to point at the tabby cat.

“Meow~~” The cat coyly meowed again, then used a claw to point at the roasted fish on the table, and using an innocent face to look at the young female human.

“Mama, the cat is so pitiful!” Suddenly, the compassion of the young female human began to flood out, and she unexpectedly jumped out of her seat to pat the tabby cat’s head.

“Meow~~” The tabby cat, taking advantage of this moment of victory, shouted even more coyly!

“Ah, Guo Guo, the cat’s hungry.” The adult female human pulled the other young female human away and then used the chopsticks on the table to pick up a large piece of roasted fish, placing it in front of the tabby cat!!

“Meow~ Meow~~” The tabby cat gratefully cried at the two female humans before taking the fish in its jaws as it smugly ran in front of me.

“Go ahead and eat it, you pitiful creature!” The tabby cat continued to use that hateful gaze as it looked down on me. But… seeing that it’d brought such tasty fish over, I decided to let it off the hook for now. The day of reckoning will come when I’m full!

“Meow~ It’s really good!” Under the tabby cat’s dumbstruck expression, I cleanly ate that large piece of fish in not even ten seconds. Even the fish bones weren’t spared.

“Are you the reincarnation of a cat that starved to death?! You can really eat! Did you not eat for several days?” The tabby cat said to me helplessly.

“Oh…” I started to think. After Master threw me down into the Cloudy Sea and I floated down to the Human Realm, it had been a total of three days and three nights.

“I have not eaten for three days!” I seriously answered.

“Three days?! So you were originally a stray cat…” The tabby cat sighed, and the gaze it used to look at me seemed to have something extra.

“…………” Although I wanted to correct it, when I thought about it again, wasn’t I really abandoned by Master? So calling me a stray cat wasn’t wrong.

“Let’s not talk about that! How did you do that just now? How come didn’t my coyness didn’t work on that human male who was roasting the fish, but when you coyly cried out to those three humans, they immediately gave you fish to eat?” I suddenly thought of this very, very important question and hurried asked without any shame. Even Master had never seen me so eager to study!

“Crying coyly? What era is this noun! This is called selling moe!” The tabby cat corrected my error.

“Furthermore… your technique of selling moe is too bad! Nowadays, how could cats who don’t know how to sell moe still survive in this human world?” The tabby cat’s tone became much more solemn and serious, making me have no choice but to use twelve thousand percent of my mind to carefully listen to his teachings. After all, this was related to how I would survive in the human world while I looked for the Five Spirit Mirror.

“Listen up! Humans are now divided into two kinds. One kind is just like that roasting fish cook, they are the lowest and most vile type! They are often very hostile toward us cats! Whenever you see that type of human, you must hide far away from them. Don’t ever attempt to approach that kind of human.” The tabby cat said as it pointed at the human who was roasting fish.

“Apart from this, there is another kind of human. This kind of human was born to be our cat race’s slave. As long as we call out twice and sell some moe, they will give us food on their own accord. They will even take us into their house and heartfully serve us. Not only would they buy the best food to offer us, they would even play with us. The most troublesome point is that they sometimes have to give us shots, but that kind of affair is often quickly over. What we need to do is to learn to recognize this kind of human from among the variety of humans. Then, we can have them willingly become our slave and serve us. Even the poorest can give us delicious food. Do you understand?”

“Oh…” I nodded my head, not really understanding it. This was the first day I had arrived at the human realm, and I had already learned two very important things.

First, if one wanted to survive in the human world, coy calling, no, selling moe was an essential skill! I must practice this skill well, as the killing rate of this skill against a portion of humans is 99. 999% and it even has a group attack effect. In this way, it is far more useful than any magic!

Second, if one wanted to survive in the human world, then one must be able to recognize the type of human that was born to be our cat race’ slave! Because even if you don’t know how to sell moe, you can still learn and practice it. However, if you sell moe and find the wrong target, then it could only be considered knocking out your own teeth and swallowing them.

In other words, hugging the correct thigh is the most important!

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2 thoughts on “[DLICHW] Chapter 3: Hugging the Correct Thigh is the Most Important!

  1. Gumu says:


  2. Héléna says:

    Oh my god!!! *look at my cat* I see…
    Thank you!!!

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