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Chapter 2: What’s Worse Than Your Love Rival Stealing Your Girl Is Becoming Their Girl

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An Yize (Male)
Attributes: Tall, rich, and handsome.
Detailed Attributes: Su Jian’s most detested tall, rich, and handsome man.

Su Jian’s hatred of An Yize went all the way back to their college days.

As one of the top three universities in the country, S University was undoubtedly admired by everyone. However, being one of the top three universities in the country for Science and Engineering as well, S University naturally made its male students depressed. As a member of this famous university’s numerous bachelors, Su Jian was undoubtedly pitiful as well.  

In his senior year of college, Su Jian liked a total of three girls.

Two of them were greatly moved by his dedication when he did things like giving them an umbrella while it was pouring rain and delivering breakfast during a big snowstorm. But, in the end, they still rejected him.

“I’m sorry. I already have someone I like.”

“Oh, is-is that so….”

One of them promised him they could “try dating and see”, but she broke up with him in less than two months.

“I’m sorry. Let’s break up. I feel that the two of us really don’t suit each other.”

“Ah, no. I think we suit each other well, how about….”

“I’m sorry. I’ve already fallen for someone else.”

“……”

Su Jian didn’t find out until later that the two girls—who both rejected him with “I already have someone I like”—and the other girl—who, saying “I’ve fallen for another person,” broke up with him soon after they started dating—had all picked the same guy over him. His name was An Yize, and he was Su Jian’s enemy from a previous life. To make things worse, An Yize was a natural pretty boy and a bástãrd that specialized in stealing the girls Su Jian liked.

In fact, Su Jian already knew about An Yize.

Even though both of them were studying different majors, he had heard something about the Mathematics Department having a pretty outstanding, but difficult to deal with guy named An Yize. There were rumors that his family background was pretty good, which did nothing but enhance his face that was perfect for seducing young women. On top of that, he was good at studying and apparently won some kind of big prize that put him in the good graces of one of the university’s most well-known and experienced professors. Then, at some school evening party^[1], he revealed a talent that turned all the love-struck girls into fangirls one by one. Add on to that his status as the President of the Student Union, and it would be hard for this guy not to become famous. Not only did he bewitch the hearts of numerous girls at his own school, but An Yize even seduced first-rate girls at many of the surrounding liberal arts universities, earning their affections one after the other. This kind of guy who repeatedly stole resources from his compatriots, was, of course, the number one enemy of the school’s male population!

Su Jian only heard that guy’s name and seen him briefly once, but never really interacted with him directly. However, this time…he still hadn’t really interacted with him at all! Despite this, the reality of being defeated from afar by an enemy that he had never even touched, only increased his feeling of humiliation! From then on, Su Jian began to follow his fellow bachelors as they cursed An Yize, May your relationship with all the girls never go past siblings! Siblings!

…………….

After graduating from university, Su Jian gloriously joined the large ranks of the IT migrant workers, becoming a so-called loser programmer. As for An Yize, Su Jian didn’t know anything besides that he had gone overseas to study abroad at some famous university.

Who would have known that several years after they graduated, two people who almost never interacted would unexpectedly meet again in this kind of melodramatic manner?

Su Jian practically wanted to sing an aria, Destiny! Why are you always so strong?! Fate! Why are you always this wonderfulsarcastic?!

…………………

The man steadily walked over.

Su Jian glared at him unwaveringly, his expression full of vigilance, grief, and resentment as he confronted his old enemy and nemesis.

“What’s going on?” His old foe watched him with a deep gaze, his tranquil, gentle, and mild voice sounded so good that even men couldn’t deny it.

Su Jian sorrowfully thought, This guy used this gaze and this voice to seduce girls, didn’t he?! So it’s fine if I punch him as revenge for my many years of hate to help me calm down?

Hearing no response, An Yize slightly knitted his eyebrows, “Jian Jian?”

Su Jian suddenly shivered. Jian Jian? That’s way too effeminate! What was this creepy feeling that made his hair stand up and shout in chorus from his arms all the way down to the tips of his toes? This was what happened when the childhood nickname that your mom used came out of your love rival’s mouth!

Su Jian glowered angrily, “I’m not your family’s Jian Jian!”

“Then, who are you?”

“I….”

At first, he thought to scream, “I’m the other Su Jian,” but right when he opened his mouth, he suddenly recalled his current situation. Your mom! He had almost forgotten that right now he was no longer in his original stylish, manly body. He was currently a genuine big-breasted, long-haired girl. Although he truly had been in a car accident, reborn, and then turned into a woman, this fact could not be publicly announced. Under the lofty radiance of Marxism-Leninism, Maoism, Deng Xiaoping Theory, the Three Represents, and the Scientific Outlook^[2] on Development, the twenty-first century’s scientific atheism had decisively crushed any and all feudal superstition. This kind of thing would only appear in an innocent girl’s fantasy on Tianya’s ‘Lian Peng’s Ghost Stories’ page^[3]. Who would actually believe him? Even if someone did believe him, after they found out that he was revived from the dead and turned into a woman, how would they look at him? It was most likely that he would be captured by a zoo, locked in a cage, and given a banana to be raised^[4] for people’s entertainment. That, or he’d be arrested, locked in a laboratory, and sacrificed on some operating table for scientific research. Maybe he would be made into an episode of that deceptive show, Enter Science, on the Dynasty Channel, “After waking up from a car accident, someone found out they had unexpectedly died and was reborn. Even more shocking is that a formerly male body actually became female! Is this natural evolution or a supernatural event? Enter Science will solve this mystery for you— it turns out that twenty-nine years ago, mother Su actually gave birth to a silly girl!”

In the end, it looked like he only had the ‘amnesia’ path left.

Su Jian harrumphed, “How would I know?”

An Yize stared at him, “Do you recognize me?”

How wouldn’t I know you? Ah, your face simply hasn’t changed. As the one who made me a bachelor for four years in college and continued to get in my way even after graduation…. My number one love rival, the bane of my life, how could I not recognize you?!

Su Jian’s eyes opened wide, becoming round, “Why would I know you!?”

“I’m An Yize.”

I know you’re An Yize! These three words make me furious every time I hear them!

“You’re Su Jian.”

fúck! I, your father, am not Su Jian! Wrong! Although I, your father, am Su Jian, I’m not your family’s Su Jian! I, your father, am who I am, and I’m not ashamed of it! Formal name: Su Jian.  Pet name: little Jian Jian. Nickname(Intimate)^[5]: Precious Egg^[6]. Nickname(Distant): Big Ears Tutu!^[7]

“If you’ve really forgotten, then I’ll tell you. I’m your husband.”

“Ah–”

Su Jian was finally unable to hold it in any longer, and,  the continuously accûmulated shock and grief after being reborn suddenly burst out in an earth-shattering manner.

“Ah–AHCHOO!!”

…………………..

Su Jian’s sneeze was both sudden and explosive. Not only was An Yize surprised, but even the newly arrived doctor, who had been called by the nurse, was startled.

An Yize turned to the doctor, saying gravely, “Doctor, my wife seems to have lost her memory.”

Su Jian silently ridiculed him, I, your father, have not forgotten anything! Don’t count on me, your father, forgetting the humiliation and suffering you gave me! I, your father, will suffer in silence at first, but when I have the chance to retaliate, steal your girl, and get revenge– Hey, I, your father’s current identity is…haven’t I already stolen An Ziye’s wife? This revenge seems pretty appropriate. Wahahaha…fúck! Wrong! Stealing his girl is one thing, but becoming his girl is another! This is just shame on top of shame! AH! TABLE FLIP! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

The doctor examined Su Jian thoroughly, but was unable to find anything unusual. However, he did see Su Jian’s expression flickering between happy and grief-stricken. It was an extremely weird expression, so inevitably he hesitated.

“Mr. An. The exam revealed that there’s nothing wrong with Mrs. An’s body.”

“Then why is it that she can’t even remember her own name?”

“Mrs. An was unconscious for several days. It’s possible that she accidentally hit her head in the car accident, resulting in temporary amnesia. In a moment, I will arrange for a more detailed exam for Mrs. An. Please don’t worry, Mr. An.”

Seeing the nurse and doctor leave he and An Yize, two enemies, alone in the single-patient room, Su Jian couldn’t help but wrack his brain to try and figure out how he could respond to the current situation.

First, he had woken up from a car accident as someone else, someone else who was a woman. Moreover, she was An Yize’s wife. Although this occurrence shocked him to death, it was a cold, hard, unchangeable fact.

Second, he couldn’t even tell the truth because the consequences were too unpredictable and severe. He simply couldn’t afford to take the risk.

As a result, he could only pretend to have amnesia and live as the woman “Su Jian” from now on.

Presently, he had a broken leg. In addition to that, other than knowing that she was his damned love rival’s wife, he didn’t know anything at all about the An family’s Su Jian. Because of this, he had no choice but to rely on the only thing he knew. After all, he currently had no identity, nowhere to go, no money, and no food. He only had this “hubby” to depend on.

Consequently, even if he wanted to spew a mouthful of damned blood at the sky or to give An Yize a bunch of damned punches, he had no choice but to be wary of the sword hanging overhead.

……………………..

“You’re…really my husband?” Su Jian silently thought of a bunch of innocent girls’ expressions he had seen on TV in his daily life, and fluttered his eyelashes, striving to seem pure and innocent.

An Yize nodded.

“Legally? The kind that’s been registered?”

An Yize nodded again.

Su Jian’s heart silently cursed, fúck! He thought with an expressionless face, In this situation, I can only decisively smile.

He smiled awkwardly, “Then, how long have we been married?”

“One month.”

Suddenly, Su Jian could barely keep up that awkward smile, One month? So, that is to say, these two just got married? Your mom! Why didn’t the car accident happen earlier?! If it happened one month earlier, couldn’t he have dumped this loser, An Yize, and avoided becoming his love rival’s wife completely?

Su Jian was full of resentment. In contrast, An Yize looked at him pensively. Sitting by his hospital bed, An Yize looked at him intensely, “You really can’t remember anything?”

Being looked at by that pair of dark black eyes while hiding a secret that could shock the heavens, Su Juan reflexively stiffened, involuntarily lowering his eyes. “That’s right. I really can’t remember a thing.”

An Yize looked at him, ”The doctor has said that you’ll probably recover after two days.”

Su Jian thought for a moment and then honestly declared, “What If I never recover my memories?”

After a moment of silence, An Yize replied, “That’s alright, I’ll just tell you anything you want to know.”

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Footnotes:

[1]Evening party is a type of show put on by students for students, usually on a stage.  Culturally part of many Chinese Universities’ regular activities.

[2]All these are social, economic, and political theories that have pushed us into the modern era:  Deng Xiaoping Theory: pragmatism  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deng_Xiaoping_Theory; Three represents: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_Represents; Scientific Outlook on Development: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scientific_Outlook_on_Development

[3]Lian Peng is internet-famous for founding ‘Lian Peng’s Ghost Stories’ –a subforum on famous Chinese forum site Tianya.  This is a place many go to post stories pertaining to the supernatural.

[4]Raised up could mean 2 things. One is to be raised (as livestock). The other is to rise up. Note that the author specifically calls out one banana.

[5]A kind of “Known among close friends” feeling

[6]Precious egg = bao dan. If you flip it, it means dan bao = egg(ball) sack

[7]Big ears TuTu is a comical, big-eared cartoon character. This reference hints that Su Jian was likely to have had big ears as a kid.

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