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Chapter 25: If You’ve Got No Skills, Don’t Copy Others!


That night, Su Jian dreamed again.

In his dream, a beautiful woman was lying on his body and said with a hideous grin, “You poor thing! Even if you screamed yourself hoarse, no one will come save you!”

Su Jian obediently lay flat, but he screamed cooperatively. “Hoarse! Hoarse! Hoarse!”

An Yize who was woken up by Su Jian rolling into his embrace excitedly shouting ‘hoarse’: “……”

“You teaser!” The beauty sat on top of Su Jian, laughing wantonly. “Be good! I want to hear you shout!”

Su Jian felt moved by love and cooperatively shouted, “One-two-three-four–two-three-four—”

An Yize who was held tightly by Su Jian in his embrace and he listened to his loud mumbling of “3234”: “……”

And so Su Jian woke up in An Yize’s arms the next day as usual.

Habit was a powerful thing. Su Jian didn’t feel like anything was inappropriate and hugged the warm radiator next to him tightly. He even closed his eyes again and snoozed for a moment.

It was only while he was washing his face and saw his mouth that his mind cleared and he shockingly remembered what happened the night before.

Holy sh*t! An Yize, that guy, didn’t just forcibly kiss him but he also bit a hole in his lip!

Thus, while An Yize was tying his tie, he turned and was greeted with Su Jian’s furious glare. An Yize stared blankly, “Jian Jian?”

Su Jian unconsciously rubbed his bitten lip and indignantly blurted, “If you’ve got no skills, don’t copy others and forcibly kiss someone!”

An Yize was dazed, then his gaze darkened. He asked in a low voice, “Does it hurt?”

“BS!” Su Jian raged, “You should try it!”

An Yize’s eyes darkened as his gaze swept over Su Jian, honing in on Su Jian’s lips. Su Jian’s lips were nicely shaped. Her lips were slightly turned up at the corners, bringing out the delicate beauty of her face. The crest of her lips were very full and contained a light wash of color which tempted him to take a bite.

An Yize lowered his head. Suddenly he lifted Su Jian’s chin with his hand, shifted, and kissed her.

Su Jian froze in shock and only thought to resist after a moment. However, An Yize held her too tightly and kissed her so deeply such that her body felt limp. When she finally gathered up her strength, An Yize had already freed her.

“What, what are you doing?” Su Jian shouted angrily with her eyes red but filled with fury.

An Yize responded, “Giving you a chance.”

“What chance?”

“To bite me.”

Su Jian was motionless for a while before remembering he had just said, ‘You should try it’: “……”

An Yize glanced at Su Jian whose chest violently expanded and constricted and yet was still speechless. He then turned and continued tying his tie.

After he finished tying his tie, he looked at Su Jian who continued to glare at him. An Yize suddenly spoke, “I didn’t bite your lip. Last night you bit yourself while you were dreaming.”

Su Jian froze then became angrier. “Do you think I’d believe you? Do I look like an idiot to you? Who would bite themselves for no reason.”

“You.” An Yize sifted through his memories for a moment: “It probably was a dream. You were also smiling and saying you hadn’t eaten human flesh in five hundred years.”

Su Jian: “……”

Even though he didn’t believe it, Su Jian still tried hard to remember. Last night he had a dream that a great beauty was forcing herself on him. While immersed in passion, he slowly recovered memories from a previous life. In a past life, the beautiful fairy was called Liang Liang and was from the Moon Palace that was in the sky. He was a pig demon from Earth called Mai Dou  and was infatuated with her.

A pig demon named Mai Dou… Su Jian suddenly turned green.

Su Jian who had started to believe it a little became flustered: “Then why didn’t tell me!” Your mom! It was unfortunate enough to bite a hole in his lip while dreaming, but to be kissed again by jerk-An first thing in the morning was unacceptable

An Yize spoke calmly: “Because you came to the wrong conclusion about me, I couldn’t help but prove you wrong.”

Su Jian was dumbfounded: “What conclusion?”

An Yize: “If you’ve got no skills, don’t copy others and forcibly kiss someone.”

Su Jian: “……”

   …….

When they arrived at breakfast in the dining room, An Yirou was already sitting there. When she saw the couple approaching, she sweetly chirped, “Third brother! Third sister-in-law!”

But when she saw Su Jian’s mouth, An Yirou’s gaze immediately became a bit strange. Little sister An leaned closer after hesitating for a moment: “Third sister-in-law, your mouth…”

At that moment, father An and mother An came over. When they heard An Yirou’s query, they secretly looked at Su Jian’s mouth.

Mother An frowned.

Father An looked towards An Yize disapprovingly: “Xiao Jian’s not well. Xiao Ze, you have to control yourself.”

An Yize: “……”

Control… Su Jian wanted to die and hastily declared, “It has nothing to do with him! I bit myself!”

Father An looked at her. Faced with An Yize’s solemn expression, his gaze softened with good humor. “I know that the two of you have a good relationship, but Xiao Jian, you don’t have to cover for him. If he picks on you, just tell me. I’ll discipline him for you.”

Su Jian: “……”

   ……

Su Jian fumed with anger and gave An Yize the silent treatment for two days.

An Yirou noticed and felt she should help her brother out. Thus, while binging dramas with Su Jian she said, “Third brother doesn’t have much dating experience so if he is lacking somewhere, please cut him some slack, third sister-in-law.” She paused, then grinned and added, “Then train him into the type you like.”

Su Jian quietly imagined himself whipping An Yize while he knelt in front of him singing ‘Subjugation’ and his spirits rose. He asked, “An… your third brother has never dated before? Has he never had a girlfriend?”

An Yirou hesitated then shook her head: “He probably hasn’t. Third brother has never brought anyone home before .”

Su Jian shook his head in his mind and thought: This girl is really too innocent! Just because he didn’t bring one home doesn’t mean he didn’t take one to a hotel!

“Third sister-in-law, you’re the first woman third brother has brought home,” said An Yirou, “and you should be the last.”

Of course she couldn’t be the last! Su Jian thought secretly. But when he thought of their divorce at the end of the contract and not having a connection to the cute girl in front of him or being able to see her, he started to feel a bit depressed.

When An Yirou saw Su Jian looking a bit disgruntled, she hastily said, “So third sister-in-law, you hold a special place in third brother’s heart. Also mom and dad have been pushing hard for brother to get married for a while but he wouldn’t do it. Yet right after he met you, he got married right away. We were completely surprised! So you see,” An Yirou laughed as she winked mischievously, “third brother must really really really love you.”

Su Jian was struck dumb but couldn’t help fantasizing it with ready made source material. An Yize stood in front of him just like he did this morning, lowering his head slightly to look at him. Suddenly, he lifted his chin softly and pressed a gentle kiss on his lips. His gentle, low voice was mesmerizing as he said, “Jian Jian, I love you.”

Because a large portion of the fantasy was based on reality, Su Jian’s fantasy was unusually realistic to the point that he could practically feel An Yize’s breath on his ear. His ear subsequently started feeling itchy.

When he came back to his senses, Su Jian couldn’t help but shudder. Holy sh*t! How could he think of this? It must have been influenced by jerk-An’s jerk actions! The scene must not play out this way! Su Jian who had been dumbfounded by his own fantasy fiercely started to fantasize a second time: An Yize revealing his thighs, wearing a small grass skirt, red rouge on his cheeks, and singing while dancing, “Jian Jian, you are my little little apple. No matter how much I love you, it can never be enough, your red little face warms the cockles of my heart and lights up the fire of my life, fire fire fire fire—”[1]

“Snort!” Su Jian was so tickled by his own fantasy that he couldn’t help but laugh out loud. He immediately decided that this was the correct way to fantasize.

When An Yirou heard Su Jian laugh, she thought Su Jian was happy about what she had said. She also felt happy and cheerfully pulled Su Jian along to continue watching dramas.


Footnotes:

[1]https://youtu.be/pNH93GNWOWw start at 58 seconds….


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21 thoughts on “[RAMLRW] Chapter 25: If You’ve Got No Skills, Don’t Copy Others!

  1. Mushroom Head says:

    Omg update!! Woah I just reread the whole translations yesterday and today, it updated. Soooo cool ╰(▔∀▔)╯ Seriously loooooove this novel. Thank you lalalyly, Isalee and SnowTime andddd all your family and everybody ヽ(♡‿♡)ノ if I could I wanna kiss everyone!!!! (´♡‿♡`)

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  2. Hahaha his fantasies are hilarious. SJ is so weird. AYZ… If you really like him/her… Gotta say… Your taste is a bit weird ? thanks for the chapter!

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  3. stc says:

    The misunderstandings in the novel are too adorable. Little sis An sitting there thinking she helped cheer up Su Jian, while Su Jian is daydreaming stupid things and giggling

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  4. Lets look at it this way, Su Jian has no qualifications except for a job he doesn’t know how to do. If he doesn’t fall in love sooner than later, and eventually become a housewife, he’s going to have to go to school again, and get a new job. Maybe he could kill 2 birds with one stone, and take culinary classes? If it works out, (s)he can cook for An Yize, if not, (s)he can work in restaurants…

    I’d never seen that video before, and it is too funny.

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