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Chapter 52: The End
That day, on the peak, I stood guard beside him until deep into the night. I had thought about pushing him into the abyss below, but, in the end, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. He had told me that he didn’t want to return to jail again. I knew what he meant – he didn’t want to die on the trail or in the torture of disease. He wanted to die at the peak.
Eventually, I called the police, and let three snowmobiles and a police car carry Chu Yuan Jiang away.
After the police investigation had concluded, I carried Chu Yuan Jiang’s ashes back to the home we had created for each other during the last two years.
As I opened the squeaky door, the sunlight leaked in and illuminated half of the cabinets. I placed his ashes in the place with most sunshine before making myself a meal. After finishing, I started to carefully clean the room, as if he was still here.
Then, I took a shower and lay on the sofa, holding the little box with his ashes close to my chest, suddenly feeling amused. Throughout this game, everyone had been entwined in a tangled web of benefits. Chu Yuan Jiang and I had been the intersection point of the threads, but now, the two of us had no more heart for this game.
Da Biao, angered by my mistreatment of Lin Ye, tampered with my car. Xiong Xi Liang, unhappy that I had became close to He Ling, sent somebody to help Da Biao. However, Xiong Xi Liang didn’t know that the hireling who went under my car had already been bought by He Ling. And so, a relatively minor incident became a major one.
Had I died in the accident, Chu Yuan Jiang, without a question, would not allow Xiong Xi Liang to get away with it. Regrettably, I had survived, so He Ling was forced to isolate me, and send people to guide Chu Yuan Jiang into attacking Xiong Xi Liang.
The timing of Lin Ye’s appearance had led me to suspect Da Biao, but later I had realized that this was impossible. After all, Lin Ye and Da Biao were foreigners in this country, so it was unlikely that they could have had a free hand to act as they pleased. I had, then, thought of Xiong Xi Liang, because this was, in a sense, his land. This was why I had immediately believed He Ling when he told me the perpetrator was Xiong Xi Liang.
I had figured out the initial situation correctly, but my conclusions had been flawed.
When I followed He Ling to hide away, the deeply hidden desire of having my revenge against Lin Ye, the hope of escaping, and the unwillingness to see Chu Yuan Jiang and Lin Ye meet and fight at the outrace, had made me forget the danger of He Ling.
I began to realize so much after he left, as if I attained enlightenment.
On top of that hill, before Chu Yuan Jiang had gone on his trip, he had told me that his life had finally been complete. He had told me that he had lived happily, and even mentioned the jade pendant at the end…
The last time that he mentioned the pendant was also when he was desperate.
It must have been then, at that time, that he had already given up all desire to live.
No wonder that he suggested I should get married, and warned me against having contact with Lin Ye.
At that time, I had only felt a vague sense of loss and sorrow, but I had never expected the situation to escalate so quickly, even though I had spent the previous two years in a state of constant anxiety…
Chu Yuan Jiang had suffered a serious injury while in China, and became depressed after being released on medical parole because life had become a torture for him. At that time, I had worried so much that something might happen…
However, after we moved abroad, he had quickly gotten back on his feet, and persistently pursued businesses that even I had looked down upon…
He told me that he did all of that for me.
But what use would money be for me once he was gone?
When I visited Xiong Xi Liang in the hospital, he was staring through the window blankly. He had been shot in the chest and under his ribcage, which wasn’t very serious. Nonetheless, he had grown so skinny that the bones of his face were clearly visible.
Xiong Xi Liang had always looked older than his age. When he stood by He Ling’s side, one really couldn’t tell that they were the same age. Now, with crow’s feet forming at the corner of his eyes, he seemed to have grown even older overnight.
He gave me a short glance before slowly asking, “What are you here for?”
“Where is He Ling?”
“He’s out.”
I put the keys to the beach house on the counter. “Please return this to him for me.”
Xiong Xi Liang suddenly asked, “Don’t you hate me?”
“Do you hate He Ling?”
Xiong Xi Liang shook his head. “I don’t. He was more competent, so I lost the battle. What’s there for me to hate him for? But I admit that I was too negligent. I didn’t expect you and Chu Yuan Jiang to be such a troublesome pair. During the past few decades, I have always been on the winning side. I took advantages of his resources. I got married. I took his fortune. J ruined his family…” Xiong Xi Liang suddenly laughed. “And just when I thought that I could finally own him, unexpectedly… he had been prepared for me to make my move since a long time ago…”
“You shouldn’t have done that to him. Because of what you did, he got so depressed that he almost drowned himself at sea.”
“That’s all in the past now. He has won, and I have lost.”
During the days when Xiong Xi Liang was in a coma, his companies had suffered from a string of scandals. Several senior managers had already been taken into custody for investigation.
The door squeaked, and He Ling strode in carrying a bowl. He simply nodded towards me before sitting at Xiong Xi Liang’s bedside, slowly stirring the liquid in the bowl, and feeding it to Xiong Xi Liang a spoon at a time.
He Ling’s eyes were fixed on Xiong Xi Liang’s mouth as it accepted the spoonfuls slowly, while he spoke to me. “‘If they do not harm me, then I shall not harm them.’ The matter of XX Appliance has been settled in full…”
I scooly said, “Then our debts are cleared.”
In fact, everything had become clear, at the moment when Chu Yuan Jiang left me. All of my grudges and ambitions crashed to the ground, like the golden roof of a palace during the fall of a dynasty. Nobody could look at the debris and guess it had once shone blood-red in the setting sun.
Later, I drove to an isolated house. There, Lin Ye opened the door, staring at me quietly.
“What are you here for?”
“Can we talk inside?” I replied calmly.
He hesitated, before nodding and moving aside for me. I walked over and seated myself on the sofa. Lin Ye stood beside me and poured me a cup of water.
” I am sorry for your loss,” he said with lowered eyes.
It was then that I noticed he was wearing a plain white shirt[1], although his expression was still as cold and aloof as always.
“In a way, he died a worthy death.” I said.
“I heard that he passed away on a mountain peak?”
“Yes.”
After Lin Ye sat next to me, I asked, “Do you hate me?”
He nodded. “Yes.”
I smiled and said, “I came today to apologize and to thank you. Yuan Jiang told me that it was you who sent him to me, and that it was you that figured everything out… What I owe you needs to be repaid. I will not object whatever you wish for.”
Lin Ye’s eyes were fixed on me, but there was no enthusiasm in them. “I dare not allow you to pay me back, since I can’t afford it. One day, you are going to take the favor back.”
I sighed and stood up, walking to the door before saying, “The sincerity of my gratitude cannot be expressed through just words… Anyway, if you need me for anything in the future, please let me know.” I then pulled the door open, moving to leave.
But Lin Ye came after me, saying, “I am responsible for Da Biao’s doings as well.”
I smiled. Suddenly, I felt as though I was back to the night when I first met him. Even though he had nothing, he kept provoking me.
I raised a hand and caressed his cheek. It was smooth and soft, full of living-man’s warmth and suppleness. I answered softly, “I know it all.”
He removed my hand, before retrieving a sapphire necklace from his room and handing it to me. The gem was spotless, but the necklace itself was rusty and covered in scratches.
“I once threw it into the toilet, but it clogged the pipe, so the plumber removed it and returned it to me.”
“Thank you. It’s beautiful.”
“I had originally bought it for you.”
“Really?”
“You just said that you wanted to pay back what you owed me. Is that still true?”
“It’s true.”
He held my hand and led me to sit on the sofa. He silently unclasped the necklace, and straightened the thin, sharp connector. He then took out a lighter and moved the connector over the flame, twisting the lighter underneath until the connector grew hot.
He warned me with a soft voice, “Stay still.”
As he spoke, he pierced the tip through the skin around my collarbone. I gasped from the overwhelming pain, my nails digging into the sofa. Blood oozed out. Luckily, the silver thread was very thin, so he was able to easily pull the thread through the holes, as I closed my eyes and clenched my teeth.
“Done.”
I looked down, and saw a shining sapphire hanging just below my collarbone.
Lin Ye leaned against my shoulder and kissed me on the lips. “My flight is at two in the afternoon. The next time I come, I want to see it on you. Can you do that for me?”
I nodded, my senses already numbed from the pain. “Contact me next time you’re coming.”
Lin Ye locked his lips with mine. I hesitantly looked at his fluttering eyelashes, before holding his face and kissing him back deeply.
Sometimes, the bond exists not between the bodies, but between the souls.
I was a man without any bonds. Perhaps because I had fewer scruples, I did better and better in investments.
I wasn’t a man who could endure boredom, so, after growing sick of staying in my empty house every day, I started a company that did finance management for wealthy Chinese men.
In two years, I moved into a splendid palace like Xiong Xi Liang’s mansion, and started sponsoring beauty contests and holding parties in my own house as well…. I went back to my previous life of debauchery.
When Lin Ye would come to visit me, and only then, I would wear that sapphire in the hole next to my collarbone.
Lin Ye’s favorite thing to do was to lick the gem as it swung next to his face, while I f*cked him.
And when I was alone, I would hold the box of Chu Yuan Jiang’s ashes in my hands, and quietly tell him about what was happening in my life every day.
Footnotes:
[1]It is a tradition to wear white clothes to show your lament for the dead.
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Hermoso final ?? gracias …
For a long time i don’t know what to make out of this ending. I guess i’ll just re-read this again. Thanks for the chap.
One more thing. I legit cried after reading this chap and i don’t even know why.
Yeah ok soo am like what then argh!! Master ou remained player huh!! I thought I would cry but no tears man! Why!!sota getting wid writers view I guess??
this is my favourite novel now….
my heart … just… I don’t know what to say anymore… The Author really amazing,..
thanks for your amazing hard work… bow..
Wait im confused, so He did everything in retaliation for the Ou and Ling investment thing? He also knew Xiong(Peter) was shady but was still depresswd tp try to kill himself and then went back to help him recover after egging on Chu Yuan to kill him? Also, Lin Ye view is wayyy different than Ou… no one is wrong though
I am so disturbed I think my brain exploded like literally. I get the feeling like I should cry but my mind just keeps going over it again and again and it’s like no tears will come out what is wrong with me?
D*mn… I didn’t know this novel would leave blank in thoughts for thirty minutes. I thought now that Yuan was already dead Ou will be back for Lin Ye but I guess they are too ruined to go back to yheir past. I just kept reading without mind for chapters that I didn’t knew this chapter was already the end.
Btw… Thanks for translating this book. Looks like I have to be away from this book for who knows long.
I ind of get the meaning of the novel. Although talking to an ash is…weird. Thank you so much for the translation 🙂
equally confused though i like the story…
hmmm… it left me feeling complicated….
no happy ending or that’s life…
Gosh darn it….why is this the end!
:crying:
Thank you for the translation, excellent work. I’m trying to digest this ending.
Shiiiit i cant bealive this is the end … I dont know what i feel right now fffff its my first bl novel and my last… I cant read anny a there’s
I don’t know what to think! I wanted to read a tragic bl novel but at the same time wanted a happy ending. I don’t know what to feel about this ending. I want to cry and I can’t even tell if Ou and Lin are even happy. Did Ou regret not getting together with Chu?
Thank you so much for this novel!
Your translation is perfect !
This is not a happy ending, everyone is so miserable 😥
I will have to reread this again, there are so many things left unsaid
Wow! I love it! Their relationship appears to be really complex but I think it really boils down to one thing although I’m not sure if love is really apt to describe them. Its a twisted kind of love, obsessesive and possesive. They can’t hold each other down but they come back together all the time. Like what he says, sometimes bond exist not between the bodies but the souls. The ending left me with a complex feeling. On one hand I want to take it as a happy one but on the other hand I think their relationship is toxic. On another note, my heart aches for Chu TT_TT
i think reading this novel i got a lot of feelings, probably have to reread it someday again and look at it differently
Now , I really don’t know what to say.. I didn’t know this novel was a tragic one … And I feel like hangging myself now with the rope.. This is so sad but well translated.. Thank you so much for working hard..butttttttttt , my brain can’t function well after reading this. I am so depressed that I am crying so hard right now…. Maybe I will reread it again , someday..😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Well damn! I’m speechless….
Gdjjkgcxsfhkkkkvxeghkk,ggukkgxdfhihcx. This right here 👆explains exactly what I feel right now. Author just blew my mind away. As much as I love this book I am not sure I cant stomach reading it again.
I think this story really does well showing the different types of love and how things are never strictly black and white in human relationships.
To me, it seems that Chu was Ou’s platonic soulmate, the one Ou would do anything for, the one that completed him and fulfilled his emotional needs. Using the Chinese novel terminology, I guess Chu would be Ou’s ‘white moonlight’.
On the other side, Lin Ye was Ou’s sexual, passionate and mad love, akin to the greek concept of Eros, the one that could really lit a fire in him. The conclusion is that Ou loved them both, although in different ways.
It’s interesting to me that there’s a point in the story Ou recognizes both him and Chu felt some unspoken underlying tension when Ou had to treat Chu’s privates, but without even needing to speak it out loudly, they both decide to stay platonic. They have a strong emotional bond and unconditional love for each other, but eros could not be a part of it, because both recognized that would ruin what they had.
Chu really kept his carnal urges far away from Chu, and asides from that brief point in the novel he acknowledges they both felt something more when Ou had his fingers in Chu, he never thinks of him sexually although they bath together, sleep in the same bed and all that. I think Ou was satisfied getting around physically and having his bond with Chu untouchable. I always believed Ou would never marry, Chu being alive or not, because the one who has most of Ou’s heart was always Chu.
I think Lin Ye’s grievance is that he couldn’t become Ou’s white moonlight in the end. Ou was always pampering him but it wasn’t genuine and Lin Ye knew it. Lin Ye was always self centered and could not bear to not be Ou’s priority… By the end I think Lin Ye wanted his ideal life to be for Ou to stay near him like an obedient mistress, acting like a wife of sorts — taking care of him when he’s tired, physically satisfying him, amusing him and smoothing his ego — while Lin Ye’s real wife served as the facade he needed to keep his position.
This story just like real life had so many possibilities. If things weren’t so wrong between Lin Ye and Ou from the beginning, maybe Ou would have become less codependent on Chu in the future and Master Ou and Ye could have become proper lovers — although I still don’t believe Lin Ye would be able to let go of his position that required a “proper” family. At the same time, there’s the possibility that Chu and Ou could have developed into lovers in the long run, since a spark of sorts was starting to wake up between them before Chu decided to leave.
The ending is bitter because nobody got what they really wanted. Lin Ye didn’t get Ou’s unconditional love and to be his tender white moonlight, and Ou didn’t get to have Chu alive.
……Can I hire you to write my humanities papers? *slow claps*
Woow!
Hmmm. Why does it feel like he gain enlightenment but also lost the will to live? Ou let go of evrything including the sipirit to live. In the end he lived like the person he did not want to be. He would occassionally indulge with Ye Lin then return lonely why talking to Chu’s ashes.
It feels like the novel is saying that when all is lost,even the brightest gem dims…
Thank you for this it’s a good story…..the truth is not all love story is easy and has a happy ending and that’s life for you……but I don’t think think I can read this story again anytime soon just reading how it ended makes me feel emotionally drain
Damn…….thanks for the translation
Okay so this story is set in the present continous where Jin and Ye tell us their story, from the very first chapter Jin declared that he fell in love with Ye and how he expresses it sounds as though he’s still in love with Ye at the moment of the storytelling
Which is obvious throughout the novel and even at the last chapter he declares that they’re bound by their souls which ultimately makes them SOULMATES, so I was just wondering where some readers would get the theory that he was soulmates with Yuan from????? Although I don’t refute the theory really
So, honestly, this ending left me a bit speechless, and with a LOT of mixed feelings. I can’t tell why but i’m feeling like this will be one of the best reads i had. I cried so much with Chu death that my tears have gone out, but the ending just make my head go blank so i didn’t cry, and i guess in the end i was just expecting something like this ? Though i believe that even if Ou gived Lin Ye the unconditional love he had for Chu, things wouldn’t have ended in HE for both of them. So it’s good that Chu even when dead is the most important person for Ou, and Lin Ye the flame that comes and goes, since both Chu and Lin were/are lacking half of it to make it a real deal
AAAAAA IT’S OVER IM SHITTING TEARS😭🔫 Help i can’t stop thinking about it how do i move on?!😭I understand not every story has to have a happy ending and it is more realistic this way, but i wish there is another version of this novel where lin ye and ou got together and chu didn’t die.
Also comments above are really interesting to read. Anyways thank you so much for the translation!!
Deserved ending, as I see it. Thank you! 🙂