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Chapter 23: As If It Never Existed

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TL: Resonance

　　奚墨被一群人围着，感觉他们目光各异，自上而下地将她审度了，顿时有了种被围观的厌恶感。

Xi Mo was surrounded by a group of people and felt their various gazes studying her from top to bottom. She felt the disgusting feeling of being watched by onlookers.

　　严慕却似乎真心实意地想将她介绍给众人，大概是听到她之前说的什么对剧组不熟，便想帮衬她一把，希望她能快点融入进去，即使别人不会真心接受，碍着自己的面也不会当众排挤她。气氛融洽的剧组并不是没有，可暗地里等级分明的剧组多得是，许多人都捧高踩低的，看见名气高自己一头的就热情，看见名不见经传的就各种怠慢，严慕实在见得太多。

However, it seems like Yan Mu genuinely wanted to introduce her to the crowd. He probably heard her saying that she wasn’t familiar with the crew, so he wished to help her get adjusted with them. Even if they don’t actually accept her from the bottom of their hearts, they will not openly exclude her out of their respect from him. There are certainly crews that interact harmoniously, but there were even more crews that are secretly hierarchical in nature. There were many people who flatter the people above them but bully and suppress the people below them. They are passionate when they see people who were more popular than them, but they would disregard people who were less well known. Yan Mu had seen too much.

　　在场的人都是演员，逢场作戏最拿手了，看在严慕的面子上纷纷笑着贴上去，奚墨瞧着他们的眼神，只觉得他们心里的内心活动就要立刻狂冲出来——原来她是抱严慕大腿上来的！

The people present here were all actors and were best at acting. They all started interacting with Xi Mo with a smile out of respect for Yan Mu. Xi Mo looked at their eyes and only felt that the thoughts in their hearts were about to burst out—Turns out she got here by hugging Yan Mu’s thigh[1]!

　　奚墨：“……”

Xi Mo: “…”

　　林启堂和叶监制也过来，林启堂看起来挺高兴：“大家都在这聊开了呢。”

Lin Qitang and producer Ye also came over. Lin Qitang looked quite happy. “It seems like everyone was chatting here.”

　　众人纷纷说：“林导好，叶老师好。”

The people greeted one after another: “Hello director Lin, hello teacher[2] Ye.”

　　林启堂点点头，又看看奚墨。

Lin Qitang nodded his head, then looked at Xi Mo.

　　原先他还并不了解阮夜笙的底细，简历上也简简单单的无从分辨，等奚墨过来面试之后，他大为惊艳，感觉这人演技炉火纯青，完全就不是新人的等次，便顺手查了一下阮夜笙的资料，一看更吃惊，还把阮夜笙当年红起来的那部踏歌声看了一遍，顿时感觉自己是押对宝了，对她便有些青眼有加。

He didn’t know much about Ruan Yesheng before, and her resume was simple with nothing distinguishable.  After Xi Mo came over for the audition, he was amazed. He felt that this person’s acting was excellent and wasn’t at a level achievable by a newcomer at all. He did a check on Ruan Yesheng’s details and was even more amazed after looking at it. After watching the show “Treading With Your Voice” which got Ruan Yesheng popular back in the days, he immediately felt that he made the right bet and felt more admiration towards her.

　　如果捧好了，再红起来应该没问题，到时候把她签到自己工作室，是个划算买卖。

If he can promote her well, it shouldn’t be difficult for her to become popular again. At that time, he can sign her into his studio. It’s a great deal.

　　“奚墨呢？”林启堂想起什么，左右瞧瞧，随口说：“奚墨跟阮夜笙对戏比较多，明天就有戏，要不要过来沟通沟通？”

“Where’s Xi Mo?” Lin Qitang seemed to have recalled something. He looked around and said casually, “Xi Mo has more scenes with Ruan Yesheng. There’s even a scene tomorrow, does she want to come over to interact?”

　　奚墨绷着脸。

Xi Mo had a sullen look.

　　找什么找！

What are you looking for!

　　我就杵在你前面！

I’m standing right before you!

　　严慕笑道：“姐估计有事吧，还没来，清明哥给我打电话说会晚一点的，这不还没开始么。”

Yan Mu smiled and said, “Sister[3] is probably busy. She hasn’t come yet. Brother Qingming called and told me that they would come later. The banquet hasn’t started anyway.”

　　奚墨继续绷着脸。

Xi Mo’s face remained sullen.

　　什么姐！

What sister!

　　傻白甜，说了百八十遍了谁是你姐！

Silly boy, how many times do I have to say that I’m not your sister!

　　而众人一听林启堂话里的意思，可不得了，他这是主动要让奚墨带一带这个不知道哪里冒出来的阮夜笙啊，奚墨是什么地位，林导竟然想让奚墨带这个女人，于是他们的内心活动又开始波涛汹涌了，几乎要喷到奚墨脸上——原来她是抱林导大腿上来的！

It was terrible when the people understood the meaning in Lin Qitang’s words. He’s actually taking the initiative to get Xi Mo to guide this Ruan Yesheng who has popped up from god knows where. What was Xi Mo’s status? Director Lin actually wanted Xi Mo to guide this woman. Hence, their inner thoughts became turbulent once again and was close to flooding Xi Mo—Turns out she got here by hugging director Lin’s thigh!

　　奚墨：“……”

Xi Mo: “…”

　　奚墨调动脸部肌肉，摆出阮夜笙以前那种招牌笑意：“谢谢林导，奚墨还没来，我后面有机会会向她请教的。”

Xi Mo adjusted her facial expression and displayed Ruan Yesheng’s signature smile. “Thank you, director Lin. Xi Mo is not here yet. I will ask her for guidance when I have the chance.”

　　林启堂对她挺满意，又向其他人说：“明天开始就要辛苦大家啦，今晚上大家轻松轻松，玩得开心点！”

Lin Qitang was quite satisfied with her. He said to the others, “Things will get tough for everyone starting tomorrow, let us all relax and enjoy more tonight!”

　　众人相继散开，没过多久，阮夜笙终于也款款来了，站在人群中像幅画。于是那群人见影后“奚墨”出现，又像是蛾子似地往这盏聚光灯旁边扑，阮夜笙客套地跟他们说了几句，偶尔不咸不淡地露几个得体的笑，俨然奚墨一贯的作风。

The people dispersed one after another. Not long after, Ruan Yesheng finally strolled in. She looked like a picture as she stood in the crowd. When the crowd saw the film empress “Xi Mo” appeared, they approached her like moths fluttering to the light. Ruan Yesheng politely replied to them and occasionally revealed a smile just like how Xi Mo always does so.

　　奚墨平素是个不会去主动搭理谁的形象，别人对她说话，向她示好，她会知礼地回应，却很少自己主动去做什么。深知这一特点，于是阮夜笙也只是瞥了餐桌那边的奚墨一眼，没什么表示，严慕上前来亲热地叫她姐，邀请她在他身边坐下，阮夜笙点点头，姿态端庄地坐了。

Xi Mo’s usual image was of someone who wouldn’t take the initiative to interact with others. When someone speaks or expresses goodwill to her, she will respond politely. However, she rarely took the initiative to do such things. Ruan Yesheng knew this trait very well. Hence, she only gave Xi Mo, who was by the dining table, a glance, but did not do anything else. Yan Mu came forward, affectionately calling her sister and inviting her to sit beside him. Ruan Yesheng nodded her head and sat with a dignified posture.

　　奚墨眼风瞥了她几回，发现她的确没出格，自己形象也还在，目光这才落回桌上。

Xi Mo glanced at her a few times. After seeing that Ruan Yesheng was indeed not out of character and that her own image was still there, her line of sight finally fell back to the table.

　　晚餐进行中，就少不了喝酒应酬，现场觥筹交错，你喝一杯，那就叫看得起，也不知道是谁定的规矩，奚墨认为应该将其打死。

With dinner in progress, it is inevitable that there would be drinking and socializing. Many people interacted and gave each other a toast. Having a drink means showing respect for the other person. Just who was it who set these rules? Xi Mo felt that this person should be beaten to death.

　　同一桌的那些演员见严慕和林启堂都或明显或随意地关照了奚墨一把，便也来跟奚墨喝酒，想台面上客气客气，只是还没等杯子举起来呢，颜听欢就已经抢先一步，笑眯眯道：“我是阮阮的经纪人，姓颜，后面拍摄期间还请大家多多关照了。”

The actors sharing the same table could see that Yan Mu and Lin Qitang were either openly or casually taking care of Xi Mo. Hence, they also came to drink with Xi Mo to show politeness on the surface level. However, they hadn’t even raised their glasses when Yan Tinghuan acted one step ahead. She said with a smile, “I’m Ruan Ruan’s manager, surname Yan. During the shooting period, please take care of us.”

　　众人一看颜听欢先开了口，又那么热情，哪能不喝，于是向着颜听欢干了杯。

Seeing that Yan Tinghuan has spoken first and has even done so so enthusiastically, how could they not drink? Hence, they gave Yan Tinghuan a toast.

　　奚墨中暑喝不得酒，逃过一劫。

Xi Mo was unable to drink as she was suffering from heat exhaustion and managed to avoid it this time.

　　坐在奚墨邻座的是个年轻男人，叫丁沛，音乐选秀节目出身的，也自拥有一票粉丝。他在戏里饰演男主刘肇身边的一个宦官，因为刘肇的关系，他这个宦官出镜挺多。

Sitting beside Xi Mo was a young man called Ding Pei. He started off from a music talent show and has his own group of fans. The role he was playing in the show was an eunuch serving the male lead Liu Zhao. Because of Liu Zhao, this eunuch makes a lot of appearances in the show.

　　丁沛很秀气，长相偏娘，颇有些羞涩地举了杯，朝奚墨道：“阮小姐，我看剧本后面和你挺多同场戏，我——”

Ding Pei looked delicate with a feminine appearance. He raised his glass somewhat shyly and said to Xi Mo, “Miss Ruan, I looked at the script and saw that we have quite a number of scenes together towards the later part of the show. Let me—”

　　他这句“我敬你”还没说完，颜听欢凑过来：“天啊，你是丁沛吧!”

His “Let me give you a toast” has yet to be spoken when Yan Tinghuan moved over, “Oh my god, you must be Ding Pei!”

　　丁沛猝不及防，连忙点头：“是……是。”

Ding Pei was caught off guard and quickly nodded, “Yes… Yes.”

　　颜听欢笑得满脸灿烂：“我看过你参加的节目，我是你的粉丝！来来来，我敬你一杯！”

Yan Tinghuan showed a bright smile, “I’ve seen the show you have participated in. I’m your fan! Here, let me give you a toast!”

　　丁沛更羞涩了，乐呵呵的，也不好去敬奚墨了，赶紧过来与颜听欢碰杯：“谢谢颜小姐。”

Ding Pei became even more shy and laughed in response. He couldn’t exactly give Xi Mo a toast now, so he hurriedly went over to give Yan Tinghuan a toast. “Thank you Miss Yan.”

　　奚墨再次逃过一劫。

Xi Mo managed to avoid drinking once again.

　　颜听欢脸皮有十座城墙叠起来那么厚，似乎从来不知道尴尬为何物，向丁沛说：“现在不方便，也没个纸笔什么的，下次有机会你可一定要给我这个忠实粉丝签名啊！”

Yan Tinghuan’s face is as thick as ten city walls stacked together. She never seems to know what embarrassment is as she said to Ding Pei, “It is inconvenient now and neither do I have pen and paper. If there’s a chance in the future, you must give this loyal fan a signature!”

　　天知道她连丁沛的一首歌都没听过。

God knows that she had never listened to a single song from Ding Pei before.

　　丁沛显然是个单纯的人，一个大男人，笑成一枚娇羞小花：“一定，一定！”

Ding Pei was obviously a simple person. He was a big man but he smiled like a shy little flower, “Sure!”

　　颜听欢顿时心里琢磨着下次可得绕着这小子走。

Yan Tinghuan suddenly thought that she would have to avoid this kid next time.

　　一来二去的，奚墨也没上几口酒，都让颜听欢给喝了，奚墨表面上没什么，心里倒是有点触动。在她的认知里，颜听欢认为自己就是阮夜笙，两人是好朋友，颜听欢这是在对阮夜笙好，为阮夜笙两肋插刀，跟里面那个自己没关系，毕竟对方又不知情。

People continued their exchanges and Xi Mo barely drank as most were drunk by Yan Tinghuan. Xi Mo doesn’t show much on the surface, but she felt a little touched in her heart. She knows that Yan Tinghuan thinks that she is Ruan Yesheng. The two of them are good friends and Yan Tinghuan is doing this for Ruan Yesheng, sacrificing herself for Ruan Yesheng. It had nothing to do with her who was currently occupying Ruan Yesheng’s body. After all, the other person didn’t know.

　　但自己的确是从颜听欢的帮助中受了益，看颜听欢不由得也顺眼了些，眼神示意颜听欢，让她别再喝。

But she herself has indeed benefited from Yan Tinghuan’s help and couldn’t help looking at Yan Tinghuan more favourably. She used her eyes to signal Yan Tinghuan, asking her to stop drinking.

　　坐在一起哪能不交流，开始不认识，一坐下开吃了自然就得有个话茬子，不然一桌子人戳在那个个都像是棺材里坐起来的大粽子似的，场面得多难堪。奚墨平常懒得说话，这下子为了和人民群众搞好关系，并且帮颜听欢转移一下焦点，她演技信手拈来，竟然也能与同桌人说出一个舌灿莲花的境界。

How can there be no interaction when they are sitting together? They don’t know each other initially, but if they were to sit and eat together, they would have to find a topic to talk about. Or else, the whole table would be like zombies who sat up from their coffins. The situation would be so awkward. Xi Mo is usually too lazy to talk. This time however, for the sake of establishing good relationships with others as well as to help shift the focus away from Yan Tinghuan, she easily utilised her acting skills and actually managed to talk out a beautiful world with the people sharing the same table.

　　他们被奚墨这层演技迷惑，只跟猪油蒙了心似的，越发觉得奚墨其人脾气温和，谈吐有趣，管她是不是抱了大腿呢，在座的谁没抱过一两个大腿，人好相处就行，沟通便也变得融洽了许多。

They were bewitched by Xi Mo’s acting and seemed to have become blinded. They started to feel that Xi Mo had a good temper and was fun to talk to. Who cares if she got here through hugging someone’s thigh, everyone sitting here had hugged at least one or two thighs. It’s fine if she is easy to get along with, and their interaction became increasingly harmonious.

　　后面也不知道是林启堂在别桌嘴上没门说漏了，还是其他人认出了阮夜笙这张面孔，想起多年前阮夜笙的确拍过戏，只是现在过气了，而且还是奚墨同院的同学。相互聊天中传来传去，这档子芝麻小事全知道了。

Afterwards, it was unknown whether it was Lin Qitang who had a slip of tongue at some other table or whether other people actually recognised Ruan Yesheng’s face. They started recalling that Ruan Yesheng had indeed starred in a show many years ago, just that she has lost her popularity now. She was also Xi Mo’s classmate. As people chatted, this information got passed around and everyone knew this trivial matter.

　　是大学同学！私底下早就认识了！

They were university classmates! They already knew each other!

　　同桌的其他人登时张大眼睛，像是又发现了一个不得了的八卦，纷纷看着奚墨，内心活动喷发俨然到了无可抑制的境界——原来她是抱奚墨大腿上来的！

The people sharing the same table immediately widened their eyes as if they had found an amazing gossip. They all looked at Xi Mo one after another and their inner thoughts that erupted seemed to have reached an unstoppable state—Turns out she got here by hugging Xi Mo’s thigh!

　　奚墨：“……”

Xi Mo: “…”

　　这下她无法反驳。

Xi Mo couldn’t refute this time round.

　　她还真的是自己抱了自己大腿上来的。

She really did get here by hugging her own thigh.

　　一顿饭吃得奚墨简直快没了魂，散场之后赶紧回房休息，明天一大早就得开工，她还中着暑，再不补眠脑仁就要炸了。

Xi Mo almost lost her soul through this meal. After the dinner was over, she quickly returned to her room to rest. She had to start work early in the morning tomorrow, and she is still suffering from her heat exhaustion. If she doesn’t sleep now, her brain is going to burst.

　　阮夜笙应酬完制作人监制那些分量重的大佬，回头扫一眼，奚墨早没了踪影，路清明过来嘱咐她早点睡，她点点头。回房第一件事就是给颜听欢打电话，说：“辛苦了，还行不行？”

After socializing with the producer and the various big shots, Ruan Yesheng looked back and Xi Mo was already long gone. Lu Qingming came over and urged her to sleep early, to which she nodded her head. The first thing she did when she returned to her room was to call Yan Tinghuan. She said, “You’ve worked hard. Are you okay?”

　　幸好颜听欢能喝，至少没吐，捧着杯水在自个房间里哼哼：“死不了。”

Fortunately, Yan Tinghuan was able to hold her drink and did not vomit. She was in her room holding a glass of water as she humphed, “I won’t die.” 

　　她声音懒洋洋的：“早知道就不告诉你她中暑了，连累我帮她挡酒。下回你要担心就自己上，可别支使我。”

She said lazily, “I shouldn’t have told you that she has heat exhaustion. Now it has implicated me and I have to help her block those drinks. Next time, if you’re worried, you should take it on yourself. Don’t ask me to.”

　　“这不是不方便吗？我要是真坐过去，别人到时候怎么看她？”阮夜笙笑笑：“再说了，我看见她眼神，明摆着就不想我过去。”

“Isn’t it because it was inconvenient? If I really went over, how would the people look at her?” Ruan Yesheng said with a laugh, “Besides, I understood the expression in her eyes. She clearly didn’t want me to go over.”

　　剧组刚成立，作为一个过气的生面孔，一上来就出风头，吸引太多关注，并不是一件好事。阮夜笙明白，奚墨更是深知此间道理，所以之前看见严慕特地过来，奚墨都为自己捏了把汗。

The crew has just been established. As a new face who has lost her popularity, it is not a good thing to come out too strongly and attract too much attention. Ruan Yesheng understood this, and it was even more so for Xi Mo. Therefore, Xi Mo was quite worried when she saw Yan Mu specially coming over earlier.

　　严慕好心是好心，的确起到了一定的帮助作用，但这是柄双刃剑，也让奚墨一来就树敌了——柳于丝为首的那几个女演员就忒看奚墨不顺眼了，羡慕嫉妒恨得简直要溢出来。

Yan Mu did come with good intentions and really did help Xi Mo to a certain extent. However, this was a double-edged sword for it has also given Xi Mo an enemy right at the get go—Those few female actresses headed by Liu Yusi found Xi Mo unpleasing to the eye. Their envy and jealousy were almost overflowing. 

　　“看她眼神你就知道她不想你过去。”颜听欢笑嘻嘻的：“担心她喝酒就让我挡，人与人之间差别怎么就那么大？”

“Just by looking at the expression in her eyes and you already know that she doesn’t want you to go over.” Yan Tinghuan said with a grin, “You’re worried that she has to drink, so you got me to cover her. Why is there such a big difference between different people?”

　　阮夜笙回答得没脸没皮的：“我怕我的身体中暑了又喝酒，被她弄坏了。听欢你要搞清楚，你这是在帮我，不是在帮她。”

Ruan Yesheng replied shamelessly, “I’m worried that my body will be messed up by her if she drinks alcohol after suffering from heat exhaustion. Tinghuan, you must get this right. You’re helping me, not her.”

　　“是，是，是，你怕你被她弄坏。”颜听欢附和。

“Yes yes yes. You’re worried that you will be messed up by her[4].” Yan Tinghuan went along with her.

　　阮夜笙：“……”

Ruan Yesheng: “…”

　　你怎么说话的？

Why are you talking like this?

　　奚墨认为她俩一丘之貉，于是这两只貉隔着电话合计了点事，时间有点晚，阮夜笙挂了电话去浴室冲澡，出来的时候她裹着浴巾，走到窗边，窗帘半掩着，外面的黑暗被路灯调和了，混成朦胧的光晕漏进了房间。

Xi Mo felt that the two of them were birds of the same feather, and so these two birds communicated some matters through the phone. It was getting a little late. Ruan Yesheng hung up the phone and went to the bathroom for a shower. When she came out, she was wrapped in a bath towel. She walked towards the window which was partly covered by the curtains. The darkness outside was well matched by the street lamps, mixing into a hazy radiance which shone into the room.

　　酒店门前比较宽敞，这个时间点还有很多人在下面走动，阮夜笙正要拉下窗帘睡觉，转头之间，瞥见一棵大树底下站着个人影。

The entrance of the hotel was more spacious. At this time, there were still many people walking about below. Ruan Yesheng was about to lower the curtain and go to sleep, but when she turned her head, she caught a glimpse of a figure standing under a large tree.

　　那影子模模糊糊的，光照不到那里。

That figure was blurry and light couldn’t reach that area.

　　人流往来，只有这影子一动也不动，像生了根，黑乎乎的一团，与树影融在一块，也看不清体型性别。

The people continued moving about. Only this shadow remained unmoving as if rooted. The figure was a ball of black blend in with the shadows of the trees, the body shape and gender indiscernible. 

　　阮夜笙站在窗边，眯了眯眼。

Ruan Yesheng stood by the window and squinted her eyes.

　　很快，那人影走开了。

Very quickly, the figure left.

　　像从来也没存在过。

As if it never existed.

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[1] Hugging someone’s thigh – To ride on someone’s coattail.

[2] Teacher – Not literally a teacher but more to express that he is a ‘teacher’-like person who will guide the actors along as he is the producer.

[3] Sister – In the entertainment industry, they will call more reputable artists or artists that have been in their line of work for a long time sister or brother out of respect.

[4] Sorry if the pun failed to get across. Ruan Yesheng was saying that she was worried that Xi Mo would ruin her body physically if Xi Mo drank alcohol while suffering from a heat exhaustion. Yan Tinghuan then used Ruan Yesheng words to make a sexual joke implying that Ruan Yesheng was worried that Xi Mo would mess up her body in a sexual way.

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