For whatever reason, their relationship was gradually improving.
During the noon yard time, when Olay was sunbathing in the corner. William came over and silently sat next to him. In fact, he had been sunbathing with Olay for several days.
“I’m sorry.” He said softly.
“It wasn’t about you.” Olay answered coldly.
William scratched his head in embarrassment, trying to say something, but couldn’t, and in the end just sat there in silence. Olay was a bit annoyed. He frowned and yelled atdeclared to William, “What’s that look about! I tell you…… I didn’t cry because of you! I just remembered my little sister!”
“What happened to her?”
“She was raped by three assholes…… She did nothing wrong, so why did she treat herself like that……” Olay pulled his short hair unconsciously. His face looked as if he was about to burst into tears. He’s usually expressionless, William thought, but he’s surprisingly emotional. “She shut herself down. Stopped eating or drinking. Whenever she found the opportunity, she tried to kill herself! You know…… I didn’t want to kill anyone; I didn’t want to go to jail either, because I needed to take care of her. I was her only family. She was in such a terrible place, so I needed to comfort her, protect her, and make sure she enjoyed the rest of her life! I withheld the fury that almost drove me crazy, and tried my best to talk to her, persuade her out of that horrible idea…… But she still died. She tried wristcutting seven times, and finally she succeeded.”
The sorrow in those black eyes was suffocating. Olay looked at William’s clear blue eyes opposite to him – that was their original color, full of serenity and sentiments. He must be a man with a warm character. He couldn’t control the urge to give him something, even though he was in a worse situation.
“Why didn’t she listen to me? What did I mean to her? I was her only family. I loved her so much. But she left like that, for those assholes…… I went ahead and killed those three bastards, and got myself sent here. I had no other way to go.”
“Oh…… I am so sorry. I don’t know what to say, but you see……” William hesitated for a bit before sitting back in frustration. “It’s all in the past.” He said quietly.
Silence reclaimed their surroundings. Olay enjoyed the sunlight wordlessly. “You like the sun?” William asked, changing the topic.
“Yes. It’s warm. Makes me feel like I’m being hugged.” Olay squinted a bit, “I like your hair color too. It looks warm.”
William paused for a bit and looked back at him. Olay’s face said he was only describing a fact. Maybe because he rarely praised people, he appeared a bit embarrassed. But such praises were apparently familiar to William.
“My dad has blonde hair. I look like him a lot. Susan always said my hair was beautiful too.” He proudly said.
“Do you have a happy family?”
“Oh, a very happy one. Although we weren’t particularly rich, we had enough. My dad was the coolest man I have ever met. He was my tennis coach, the part-time therapist and the cook for the whole family – Ah, he also taught me how to use a gun. He was an excellent policeman. To become a cop like him was my dream since I was very young……”
Olay saw that startlingly cheerful face, and couldn’t help smiling, “Oh my, your childhood must have been fantastic.” His eyes reminded him of Jone, his sister. They were both as clean and warm as a child.
William was dazed a bit for Olay’s rare smile, probably because it was so different from one would have imagined. It was a childlike brightness, and a dazzling happiness. He also smiled, “When you smile, you look so silly.” He said.
Olay closed his eyes, feeling the warmth of the sun showering on him, showering on this world. “It was all in the past.” He said quietly.
There was a brief silence next to him. “Yes.” William replied softly. He bet Susan was smiling at him from the heavens at this moment, with a lake of deep love and gratification in her green eyes. Today I realize I haven’t lost everything. I still have the ability to feel the warmth of the sun again. New life can still sprout despite the terribly twisted environment here. No matter how wounded it is, it is full of the fragrance of hope.
He coughed dryly for Olay’s attention. “My mom said, this is what you should do to show your gratitude.” He leaned towards Olay. His lips softly landed on his cheek. He could feel his breath was warm and charming.
“Thank you, Olay.” He said. Even though there was still traces of sorrow, he was indeed smiling.
The black-haired guy scratched his head blushed and stuttered, “You don’t need to…… I mean, I am glad that I got to know you.”
No one noticed that Hill was standing in the distance, watching as it happened.
*** *** ***
Olay was skimming through a book about criminal psychology from Freud. William casually passed by, and glanced at it from his back. “Bullshit.” He concluded. Olay turned around, and saw a romance fiction in William’s hand.
“This theory currently has the most supporters.” Olay explained.
“Mm-hmm. I don’t support it.” William said, “He’s an idiot full of bullshit.”
Olay peered at him, “Have you read his books?”
“Ya, when I was in college.” William curled up his lips, “Do you agree with him? Men are born with criminal instincts, which are only bound by morals?”
“What else would it be?”
“Oh, look at what you’re trying to make me agree to here. Men always aspire to commit crimes. The more laws and rules we implement the more human natures are suppressed, which lead to more psychopaths…… Men are born evil, sorry, I don’t agree.” He made a clear declaration, “Those criminals always say that crime is human nature, they didn’t do anything wrong, it was the fault of the society. Bullshit. Law is supposed to give people freedom, instead of limiting it. No matter how many excuses they find for themselves, harming innocent people should be punished!”
Olay just looked at him, forgetting to argue back. Perhaps he should comment about what a just foundation his happy childhood had given him, that made his character unbendable. Even after he has lost his wife and kid, after dealing with crimes for so long, he still remained kind and righteous. But he failed to say a word.
He could only smile at him, “Maybe you’re right. You are so unique. I mean, you must have been a good cop in the past……” Before he could finish his sentence, Hill walked over, with his blue-green eyes fixed at him. He walked straight towards Olay, without paying any attention to William. He stopped at an abnormally close distance. “I want to talk to you, Olay.” He talked in a soft, obscene tone.
Olay’s body visibly stiffened. Hill put his hand on Olay’s waist. Olay caught the hand which was moving swiftly downwards, and said in a low voice, “We can go to your office!”
“There’s no need. This place is nice. Very quiet.” Hill looked around, as if William was invisible.
“What are you kidding?”
“Why would I kid with you. Come on Olay, this isn’t the first time.” Hill said, with his hands sliding under Olay’s shirt, and pulling it up high. Olay could see that behind his back, William was watching the scene in disbelief. His clear blue eyes could reflect the evil in every corner. Olay grabbed Hill’s hands. “Don’t do it here!” He said.
Hill shove Olay’s hand away, and pushed him against the cold wall. He leaned close to kiss his neck. “For God’s sake, don’t do it here!” Olay begged him. William is watching!
“There is no God here but me.” Hill said gently in his ear, “Have you not suffered enough?”
“How can you do this? You are a cop!” William suddenly spoke up.
Hill turned his head around, and replied, “Ya, and that’s why I am in charge here, Sir. And you are not a cop anymore. Things like this happen all the time. The only reason your former colleagues are not taking turns to fuck you every night, is that the higher ups asked us to be nice to you, pretty boy.”
He ripped Olay’s shirt open, and rubbed the man’s exposed upper half with force. “There are no women here, William. Only men.” The healthy and robust muscles gave an erotic feel under his stroke. Hill pinched his nipples, and played with them wantonly.
“Don’t look, William!” Olay was begging him with entreating eyes, “Go back. Don’t stay here!” Those blue eyes made him feel intolerably dirty. He only felt like that when William was looking.
“What are you unsatisfied with, Olay? Didn’t I fuck you enough last time? Getting a new lover so soon!” Hill’s tone could barely contain his anger, “Today I’ll let your little lover see how I punish you till you can’t stand any more!” Hill squeezed and twisted his tender region, but Olay couldn’t feel the pain with the humiliation and desperation filling up his body. He bent involuntarily, “Don’t look at me, William. Leave, leave……” He looked at the blue eyes in despair, “You can’t help me. Please, just leave here.”
William suddenly walked over. His steps was swift but steady. Olay’s deduction was correct; he indeed had proper training in free combat. His moves was quick and instinctive; he knew where the baton was, and the way to seize it. He drew out Hill’s baton, and to Olay’s astonishment, smashed it on Hill’s head.
Hill was knocked down before he realized what happened. William’s arm force was so strong that Olay could clearly hear the thwack of the baton hitting on the skull. Blood spilled on William’s fair face like roses blossoming on snow. As William’s second blow was about to fall, Olay was finally able to react. He hurriedly held him back. “William, he’ll die if you don’t stop!” He yelled. William’s strength was almost too much for him to control. “Stop! Stop William. Do you want to kill him?”
After he felt the man in his arms gradually calmed down, Olay relaxed a bit cautiously. William stared at the bloody baton in his hand, then the horrifying scene of blood quickly spreading under his feet. “What am I doing?” He said in disbelief, “Did I just attack a cop?”
“William, you were just trying to help me……” Olay didn’t continue, because he saw William slowly shake his head, and smiled, as though he finally figured it out, “No, I just beat up an asshole.”