Chapter 2.1: William
It’s impossible to fall asleep like this.
Olay rolled over in frustration, and said to himself, Maybe I’ll just stay awake then.
He was not fully recovered yet, so he still needed plenty of rest. Those animals in rut sent him to the infirmary for a whole month. As far as he could recall, his resilience usually meant that he had never needed to stay in the hospital for so long.
That incident ended with Link almost dead from an an electrical shock at work that would keep him in the hospital for the rest of his life. Since then, his gang looked at Olay with fear and caution in their eyes. Pfft, he should have showed them who’s the boss much earlier. They were exactly what people called “fearless until they see the coffin”. Fortunately, that included other people’s coffins as well. Olay didn’t consider himself a violent person.
So even though he had no interest in being the gang leader, no one dared to provoke him.
With Link gone, a new roommate filled in the slot. On first sight, Olay could tell this man would cause more than a small fight in the prison.
Saying that he had never met a man so good looking would be exaggerating. But even those men were only on television. In real life, Olay knew that he had never met someone so handsome.
He was blonde, with a short crew cut. Even though he looked apathetic and languid, there were still clues in the way he carried himself. It wasn’t hard to tell that he had undergone proper training. He used to stand perfectly upright, speak in a commanding tone, and be full of energy – he might have be a military man.
His face could be honestly described as perfect, but it was not a feminine delicateness. Every single curve on him was free and expansive, full of manly wildness tempered by elegance. Using women’s terms, he could be called a “stud”. But unfortunately, there were only men here. Even more unfortunate, his charm could also be sensed by men.
If women’s desire for men is to accept and to control, Olay had no doubt that the men’s desire here for him would be to violate and to destroy.
That was why he became the distraction at that moment.
Olay turned around and watched the bed on his other side. The cell was filled with the stink of men coupling. A group had gathered there to enjoy their “night time snack”.
Honestly, hours ago Olay wouldn’t have thought twice that this man, William, was a normal guy that would be scarred by such a gang. He met him at noon during yard time. He shuffled in, cuffed and followed by the cops. But those contemptuous guys treated him very politely – this couldn’t be faked. Cops always had that subconscious superiority towards the prisoners, but it didn’t seem to exist when they were in front of this man. This new inmate was different from everyone else here. He might have a decadent attitude, but he looked pure.
Olay didn’t understand why or which cop let those monsters in. He watched silently. The prison had its own rules, and he didn’t want to meddle. That was when he saw William’s face between those men’s bodies.
His hands were tied to the head of the bed with the bedsheet. His light blue eyes were tranquil and open. His legs were wrapped around a man’s waist, who was moving over his body, panting and moaning. “He’s a fúcking killer……” Someone said. The men roared with lewd laughter. The same-sex environment made them used to release their desire this way.
Olay abhorred such things. Every time he witnessed it, he felt his stomach heave and felt like he would throw up. But this is so strange……this man does not appear dirty or lewd at all in any of this, he pondered. His eyes were quietly open, but they were empty inside. Olay puzzled for a while, then realized…… I think I get it, he thought. That man, William, is dead. This is only his shell. His soul is already dead…… Olay sat up and watched the man with the angel’s face.
That was why he wasn’t resisting them. Olay had no doubt that he was a skilled fighter, at least enough to attract the touring guards. They surely would not allow it to happen to William like they did to him before.
That gang was f*cking an almost dead body with as much excitement as if they had won some prize, which amused Olay a bit. He walked over, and looked at William’s naked body. Not long after, he would hear a roommate talk about William saying “the curve of his waist was so sexy that I can’t breathe!” At this moment, Olay did find him very sexy and attractive, despite that body being lifeless.
“Olay, do you want a turn?” Jim asked joyfully.
Olay frowned. He suddenly felt disgusted by those hands that stroked obscenely over that silent, naked body, violating him viciously to please themselves. He is a dead man……he thought, watching those eyes. They were a very beautiful light blue, but they were void, like an empty shell without a soul.
“I know that you rarely see a stunner like him, but if you keep going, he’s gonna die.” Olay said, “I suggest taking him to the doctor.”
Olay couldn’t say for sure why he sneaked into the infirmary to visit this severely injured man. Maybe it was his eyes…… They looked somewhat familiar. It was a symptom Olay used to call “soul necrosis”, though he was convinced that a soul could not die. However, the eyes were saying that he had shut himself down completely, that his heart was dead as ashes……
In any case, it worried him.
Olay was watching William blankly when some people came in. He was about to leave because he felt silly – that guy ignored him completely. He only stared at the ceiling, as if he didn’t feel anything from what just happened. Olay thought that William is probably felt – if he was still able to “feel” – Olay was nosing about too much, and was definitely cursing him.
“God damn it! Who the fúcking hell gave them the keys! I am gonna kick their asses!” came Quincy’s furious voice. “How dare they do this! If Olay hadn’t called for help, William might have been killed by those b*stards!”
“Sorry, I didn’t know……” Truman explained faintly.
“Calm down, Quincy! This is what prisoners do. William is a pretty……” Hill yelled. Then came sounds of people trying to separate a fight.
“Damn it Hill, don’t talk about him like that! It’s got nothing to do with pretty or not. He is one of us…… He is a cop! Those motherfúckers can’t do that to him!” Quincy shouted in rage.
“At least the inmates don’t know that. Otherwise, they would’ve killed him.”
A cop? Surprised, Olay looked at the guy lying in bed. He felt that he had overheard a huge secret. But why is he here? Olay thought. He had no idea what William went through that not only sent him here, but also depleted what was in his body. He was insensible, as if he had no idea that he would become ashes once this secret is exposed. Olay guessed that those motherfúckers would surely be eager to fúck a cop, and those who had did it would be so proud and satisfied.
“The higher-up told us to give him the best treatment…… But these sort of things are inevitable,” said Jory.
“He still hates himself,” Quincy sighed. “I don’t think he has done anything wrong. If it was me, I would have done the same! That b*stard killed his wife. You know, they have been together since high school, and they were married for seven years…… She was even pregnant with his child!”
“Yes, that’s why he shot seven bullets into that guy’s head, until he emptied the clip. Then he slaughtered the entire gang. ASWAT veteran, indeed. But that is also why we could not excuse it as “manslaughter”, and had to send him here instead,” Hill said. “He was too impulsive.”
“He loved her deeply!” Quincy yelled.
“Oh, sorry, I don’t believe in such things…… It’s William that failed to control himself. I guess he felt that it was his fault. He’s been blaming himself, and that’s why he did not even resist. The record says the criminal mistook his wife as someone else, though I heard that they killed her purely for revenge.”
“That son of a bitch! Listen, Hill…… I mean…… I think, if love exists, William must have had it,” Quincy said. staring at the white cloth partition, as if he could see through to the injured man behind it.
“Perhaps,” Hill was indifferent. “I suggest letting him stay here for a while, otherwise he will not survive for long. At least wait until he cheers up a bit.”
“I won’t allow it, even if you guys want to send him back,” Jory said. “He can’t do anything right now, other than to lie in bed receiving injections.”
Olay sighed in relief when he heard the sound of the men walking to the outer room to read the medical report. This William guy is so unlucky. He is exiled himself. He went through cruel and painful things in order to punish himself and allowed himself to be swallowed by despair. Olay sighed and prepared to leave through the window.
The moment he turned around, he stopped.
William was crying.
A Chinese idiom.